Tip o' the cap

They just unfurled a big U.S. flag that covers the entire expanse of the outfield here at the ballpark. The Philadelphia Boys' Choir is singing patriotic songs at an octave that would require a fellow to cycle off the Winstrol. I suppose there is nothing better that signifies the fight for American Independence better than some pre-pubescent boys singing before a ballgame.

Anyway, we're in the ballpark and we made it with little difficulty. The traffic from the Turnpike to the Schuylkill wasn't so bad... it wasn't good, but it wasn't anything to whine about.

Meanwhile, the press box isn't obnoxiously crowded, which is nice. There's plenty of space to stretch out and get some work done, which is also nice.

The player introductions have begun and a few writer types have guessed that Adam Eaton and Wes Helms will hear boos. Why are they always so negative?

So far there have been big cheers for Cole Hamels, Chris Coste and Jamie Moyer. Eaton was booed, but he doffed his cap and enjoyed it.

Otherwise, all of the starters heard big cheers, including manager Charlie Manuel, which is well deserved at this point.

Coming up...

A few clerical things:Tomorrow we will update this site live during the Opening Day game in very much the same manner as last October's NLDS. Since it's the first game of the season, we figured "why not?" One enhancement I'm working on is a chat box for readers to send instant messages during the live posts/game. The problem right now is that this platform doesn't support certain Java applications, so it looks like the IM feature is out... for now.

Nevertheless, we will accept (and encourage) comments and e-mails during the game to discuss outcomes and certain strategery.

So get ready.

In the meantime, here are the long-awaited predictions for the National League in 2008 offered without analysis.

In other words, take it for what's worth:

East 1. Mets 2. Braves 3. Phillies 4. Nationals 5. Marlins

Central 1. Cubs 2. Brewers 3. Reds 4. Astros 5. Pirates 6. Cardinals

West 1. Diamondbacks 2. Padres 3. Dodgers 4. Rockies 5. Giants

NLDS Mets over Diamondbacks Cubs over Braves

NLCS Cubs over Mets

World Series Cubs over Red Sox

(Late) Morning appreciation

There is a line in the movie High Fidelity (it's probably in the book, too) where John Cusack's character, Rob, defends the highly refined tastes of he and his pals Barry (Jack Black) and Dick (Todd Louiso) by declaring that they are "professional appreciators." Isn't that a nice sentiment? An appreciator... that's like a fan only better. An appreciator accepts the effort and understands nuance. They search for the sublime and revel in it whether it's a tiny strummed chord of a guitar, an understated sense of style or an unspoken acknowledgment.

It's kind of like that scene in Pulp Fiction where Winston Wolf turns and gives Jimmy a quick nod after the first sip of coffee that was crassly called the "gourmet [bleep]" by Jules.

I've always believed that the success of something like "American Idol" was because Americans, generally, are not appreciators. Instead, we enjoy watching the failure of others. We enjoy feeling like we are better than others and laugh at people when they put themselves out for public consumption and fail.

That combined with spiraling, out-of-control credit card debt, low-brow culture and all-you-can-eat buffets are what Americans do better than almost anyone else.

I'd say Americans do sports and sports fandom better than any nation in the world, too, but that would just be crass jingoism. The fact is that most of the world has caught up with us in athletics, but then again I usually just base this notion on how well the U.S. team performs in Olympic basketball. Charles Barkley said prior to the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona that the U.S. can play basketball and drop bombs better than any country in the world. Sadly, I don't Sir Chuck's boast holds up any more.

But it appears as if Charles is singlehandedly proving the buffet theory.

Nevertheless, the rest of the world has seen our version of football and baseball and, frankly, they aren't very impressed. American Football, as it's called everywhere else, appears to be the one sport that captures no imagination whatsoever. They all have their own football and all the ancillary stuff that go along with it, thank you very much. In fact, a good old soccer hooligan makes the standard 700-level Eagles' fan look like a choirgirl.

Certain soccer fans actually are detained at the border when attempting to enter most foreign countries. The fear is that if soccer fans go to, say, Belgium, an international incident could occur, leaders will stop talking to one another and the Euro will drop lower than the dollar.

All that for what? Soccer?

Meanwhile, certain Eagles fans are sometimes prevented from purchasing more than two $8 beers at a concession stand at the Linc. As a result, Joe Banner won't be able to make the numbers work on the spreadsheet and the team won't be able to afford that much-needed wide receiver.

So drink up, folks, but do it with a certain decorum. That means when you are sitting at the tax-payer funded football stadium, compress your opera hat and put away the monocle before attempting to dry heave on the patron in front of you.

After all, we are a society and the team needs that special receiver with the ability to dig out passes thrown to the shoe tops.

But you know what else we can do better than anyone else? We can wax on about baseball. Yes, it's true. It's also true that there are companies that exist solely to produce that saccharine sweet baseball-as-a-metaphor-for-life bullbleep. You know, that NPR/Field of Dreams tripe about ghosts walking out of the corn or holding your dad's hand as you walk into Fenway or something like that. Man, it just makes me want to throw up.

Why, you ask (or even if you didn't I'm going to write it anyway)? Perhaps it's because the reality of life has made a bigger impression than the fairy tale. For instance, my first exposure to baseball came at Veterans Stadium and Memorial Stadium in Baltimore. At the Vet the design was so bad that nearly every seat in the house sucked. I can remember walking in there for the first time in 1976 and thinking that we'd be better off watching the game at home on TV - at least then I'd be able to see what the players looked like. At least then I wouldn't have some jackass spill beer down my back as I nursed a nose bleed brought on from the altitude of the crappy seats.

Or in Baltimore, a neighborhood stadium with sardine-styled parking, National Bohemian beer ads everywhere, and drunk cab driver on the dugout leading the cheers for the weeded crowd that needed to yank out the ganja one last time so that the he would be numb for when the police billy clubs rained down on him after being tackled for running out on the field.

You're crazy if you think going to places like that doesn't have an affect on a kid prone to over-thinking everything.

Even now it seems as if baseball is personified by odd behavior. Like Billy Wagner exposing himself after being asked about throwing a slider or Brett Myers just being Brett Myers.

The truth is I prefer the reality to the produced fairy tales. I appreciate it. Just like the put on part - you know, the crap about how time starts on Opening Day - the truth is so different from real life. Accepted behavior and norms are pulverized with a fungo and no one goes to jail for it.

Who doesn't appreciate that?

So let's wax on...

A few years ago the Vet was closed and mercifully blown up. Personally, I think the park got off easy. I would have preferred torture instead of implosion, but it all worked out in the end. Nevertheless, Yankee Stadium is closing at the end of this season and already the odes are hitting the ether. Here, Tyler Kepner of The New York Times gets into the off-limits areas of The Stadium.

Ron Guidry played the drums before taking the mound? Cool.

Meanwhile, The Times has a whole page for Stadium stories.

Also in New York, former Phillie (and all-around solid dude) Nelson Figueroa's Quixotic or Coste-ian (yes) journey across the globe to find work as a baseball could end with a gig in the Mets' bullpen. If Figgy doesn't start the season at Shea, it could be New Orleans, which, obviously, is better than Taiwan.

Finally, CBS college hoops announcer Billy Packer doesn't care much for... well, anything. Especially sports. *** Top 5 songs mentioned or heard in High Fidelity Suspect Device - Stiff Little Fingers Janie Jones - The Clash Let's Get It On - Barry Jive & The Uptown Five Jesus Doesn't Want Me for a Sunbeam - The Vaselines Walking on Sunshine - Katrina & The Waves

Morning clicks

If I was a contributor to the web site Stuff White People Like, I would add something about HBO docudramas about dead presidents/founding fathers in Colonial America that are produced by Academy Award-winning actors that appear to be defined by the subject matter of the web site, Stuff White People Like. Or something like that.

The truth is, like most people described on that site, I like hating corporations, coffee, knowing what's best for poor people, and Mos Def. I also have enjoyed the first three installments of HBO's series, John Adams, which, I think, shows just how messy it was to set up a representative democracy in a time when the population was not connected by mass media or a mouse click. Actually, there wasn't even electricity and the men wore some of the fanciest powdered wigs this side of the Christopher St. Halloween Parade.

I think it's a cross between awesome and totally awesome.

Instead, being a citizen took effort by today's standards, though it likely wasn't viewed in such a manner. Based on my reading of Walter Isaacson's Benjamin Franklin, participation elaborate civics duties wasn't just relegated to certain cliques. No one claimed that our founders were in "show business for ugly people." Actually, politics didn't have an entertainment value and it seemed as if the participants were in it more for the common good than some sort of jewel at the end of a long campaign spent raising millions and millions of dollars.

For instance, Adams spent years away from his family in Europe where he campaigned to the swells in France and Holland for money to fund the revolution. While there he kind of had a knack for rubbing folks the wrong way with his uncompromising ways, belief in American independence and inability to promote and market himself the way his buddy Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson could.

In fact, Adams sacrificed much personal glory for the sake of American ideals and goals. He very well could have been the main architect of the Declaration of Independence, but instead took a role in the background as Jefferson's editor and compass. Yes, Jefferson gets all the well-deserved credit for writing the Declaration, but the document is as much Adams's as well.

So yeah, if I'm not already in bed resting up for an early Monday morning to prepare for Opening Day and escaping The Lanc before Barry Obama shows up in town for the big rally at Stevens Trade, I'll tune in to the fourth installment of the Adams epic on HBO. After all, there won't be any college hoops on the tube and it appears as if I have the bracket competition all but locked up.

Dead presidents and founding fathers... hell yeah!

In the meantime, former Phillies and all-around gentleman, Doug Glanville, wrote another Op-Ed piece for The New York Times. It seems as if ol' Dougie is itching to get the glove and uniform back on, but, you know, a new career calls. Besides, the Phillies don't really have a need for a reserve outfielder with a low on-base percentage and limited power. CBP was built for American League-style ball, baby. The Phillies need to bash.

*** Elsewhere on the baseball front, ESPN's Jeff Pearlman focused on the death of left-handed pitcher Joe Kennedy and how his family is coping. As some may recall, Kennedy died suddenly last winter in Florida the day before he was to attend a wedding, leaving behind a 26-year-old pregnant wife.

Though just 28, Kennedy died from hypertensive heart disease.

My memory of Kennedy is from the 2001 season when he shutdown the Phillies while pitching for the Devil Rays around the time manager Larry Bowa and Scott Rolen had it out after the skipper told a writer that the middle of the order "is killing us."

That game in St. Pete could have been Kennedy's finest as a big leaguer.

*** Sally Jenkins of The Washington Post became the first mainstream writer -- at least that I've seen -- to take the IOC to task for awarding the 2008 Olympics to Beijing.

Before I write, "What were they thinking...", and yes, I know what they were thinking. The dollar signs where their pupils used to be are easy to spot. Try this out from Jenkins:

Up to this point, the IOC has soft-pedaled these events under the rationale that "engagement" with Chinese officials is better than nothing. President Jacques Rogge defends the decision to send the Games to China, saying they are an opportunity to expose a fifth of the world's population to the "Olympic ideal." But it's safe to say the Olympic ideal isn't getting through to the Chinese people. Only the McDonald's billboards are. On Monday, Yang Chunlin was sentenced to five years in prison for "inciting subversion." His crime? He posted on Internet sites under the theme, "We don't want the Olympics, we want human rights."

Seriously... what were they thinking?

*** Finally, from Gina Kolata of The New York Times, running can, indeed, make one feel high.

Duh!

More HBO: John Adams

ESPN: Joe Kennedy is gone, but not forgotten

The New York Times: The Boys of Spring

The Washington Post: IOC Needs to Step In Or Perhaps Move On

The New York Times: Yes, Running Can Make You High

Everything right where we left it

Yessir, everything is right where it was when we left this place last October. In fact, Citizens Bank Park and the Phillies’ clubhouse shows no real discernible difference from last year at all. Oh sure, the carpet is a little frayed here or there and some of the paint is fading ever-so slightly. But other than simple wear-and-tear that rugs, walls and people go through the five-year old ballpark is just the same as it ever was.

In other words, not much has changed with the Phillies since I left them a few weeks ago in Florida, nor has anything really changed from the time was here for the last ballgame before jetting off to Denver to watch the season come to an end.

The Phillies and their ballpark are locked in. They look ready to go for real come Monday, though the complaints about the weather flowed like droplets from a leaky spout.

Florida weather in late March is much more forgiving than in South Philly. The same goes for the style of baseball, too.

Will the Phillies avoid yet another April swoon?

We’ll get our first answer on Monday.

Morning newsy news

In an effort is to make this site more blog-like (is that good or bad?), we are going to incorporate more stories from places that folks following this site and the Philadelphia sporting scene would otherwise miss. Call it a public service.

So in this public service to you, the dear reader, I'll assort all the things that pass my way that is noteworthy and post it here as many mornings as I am in business. Some of it will be about baseball and the Phillies and some will come from the sports world. But most of it will be about other things. That's just the way it goes.

Plus, how much sports writing can one read, really?

Anyway, there are two magazines in which everyone should own a subscription if they want to be (relatively) switched on to the basic cultural trends.

The other magazines can just be put out in the recycling bin.

One of those magazines is Esquire, which is in its 75^th year of telling grown men not to wear sports jerseys lest they want to commit a social faux pas and look like some sort of a philistine. In fact, in a recent issue of the magazine it was suggested that there was a name for grown men who wore the jersey of their favorite team while out and about in public.

They're called professional athletes.

The other magazine that people should subscribe to is The New Yorker, which is a weekly that digs deeper into stories so that the nuance has nuance. The magazine is also the home to cartoons that are not funny and original poetry and prose. Actually, The New Yorker is doing the same things now that it did decades ago. Once I heard editor David Remnick say in an interview that he didn't care about how long the stories in his magazine were as long as the writing was interesting. This struck me as an odd thing to say because shouldn't that be the case in every publication?

Obviously, it isn't the case.

Nevertheless, I remember sitting in the library at J.P. McCaskey High in Lancaster, Pa. thumbing through the latest edition of the magazine looking at the names of the writers and all of the different styles they used to tell a story. But more interesting than that was the pages of events listings that has always been a staple of The New Yorker. Right up front, before the always entertaining "Talk of the Town" column , columns and columns of agate type describing where and when all the latest bands, plays, shows and openings were going down. Sometimes I actual got dizzy thinking that out there, in one city, all this stuff was going on and quite clearly there wasn't anything happening in Lancaster.

As a result my friends and I got together on weekend evenings and spent time tripping the alarms on the houses in our neighborhood.

What, did you think there was a Jean-Luc Goddard retrospective happening downtown?

In the March 27 issue of the magazine there's a story by Eric Alterman chronicling the death of the American newspaper business. I'm one of those guys that believes advancements in technology should only makes things better - particularly when it comes to words, discourse and information. Yet for some reason the scions of the newspaper business just don't understand how to make it work, which, clearly is because of a forgetfulness of the newspapers' mission. For some reason folks believe that news, information and art is a product or a commodity like anything else.

Those are folks we like to refer as pigs.

Anyway, newspapers are dead. Stick a fork in them. If you don't believe me read Alterman's story.

*** Meanwhile, a guy who seems to get what the mission of the story is a fellow named Bob Lefsetz. An ex-publisher of a influential newsletter on the music business-turned web site, Lefsetz now turns out daily posts on, oddly enough, Lefsetz.com, because, "I'm just passionate about music and trying to speak the truth about it."

In a story by Josh Freedom duLac of The Washington Post, Lefsetz is described as the Jim Cramer of music writing... only without the millions from hedge funds to pay the freight. Simply, Lefsetz just wants to write about what matters to him and big-wigs in the business have taken notice.

Is that so wrong?

*** Speaking of wrong, I caught the 1 a.m. edition of the PBS show Frontline the other night just in time to watch the latest piece called, "Bush's War." Complete with over 400 interviews, including extended talks with the so-called "architects" of the war in Iraq and many of the generals, the Frontline episode should be viewed as the first honest retrospective of the five-year old war.

PBS shows the series regularly, but if you miss it on the tube it's available for online viewing.

Perhaps the most striking part about the first hour of "Bush's War" was how readily some of those in charge of the operation were willing to admit that the plans and the policies were and are "a fiasco."

I wish there were something I could add here.

*** Finally, it appears as if Barack Obama will hit Lancaster on Monday (and I thought nothing happened here) for a rally. Hillary Clinton also made the trip to Lancaster last week to film a special for MTV, hold a rally at Millersville University, and then be sucked up to by the local press. That's probably how it will go with Barry Obama, too.

Celebrities can do no wrong here in Lancaster as far as the locals go.

Unfortunately, Monday is also the opening day of the baseball season, so I'm stuck going to the ballpark...

Could that be the first time that sentence has ever been written? Sure, hang around the press box and that sentiment is right there on the surface, but as far as typed out on a keyboard and thrown out there for consumption, yes, I believe it is the first time someone has complained about having to go to a baseball game.

*** Clicks The New Yorker: Out of Print - Death and Life of the American Newspaper.

The Washington Post: Rage Against the Machine - Bob Lefsetz, the Music Industry's Go-To Gadfly

Frontline: Bush's War

Absolute control?

When it comes to experts in the performance-enhancing drugs topic, there are very few people who know more about the subject than Dr. Charles Yesalis of Penn State University. The truth is it's difficult to have a meaningful conversation about the topic without at least some input from Dr. Yesalis. Meanwhile, reporters Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada have done some of the most groundbreaking work on the subject. Reporting for the San Francisco Chronicle, Williams and Fainaru-Wada helped break the BALCO case wide open and their book Game of Shadows is packed with information that has not been refuted. Actually, the news regarding the Marion Jones and Barry Bonds cases that are just being reported now were detailed with much precision by Williams and Fainaru-Wada a long time ago.

In other words, if Yesalis, Williams and Fainaru-Wada are in the same room talking about the topic of performance-enhancing drugs, it's a good idea to listen. Chances are you might learn something.

Better yet, chances are you might hear something that feels like a jolt to the solar plexus.

Actually, it wasn't quite as significant as all of that, but when noting a report on the stellar web site, Steroid Nation, yesterday, I felt like I was making the noise heard from one of those cartoon characters that had just been smashed in the face with a frying pan and was waiting for its original shape to reappear.

Wha, wha what!

At a Penn State roundtable last week entitled, "Steroids and baseball: Where is the public interest?" Yesalis shared the dais with Williams and Fainaru-Wada where they spoke of a societal split on the issues concerning performance-enhancing drugs in the national pastime as well as other sports. The issue, however, wasn't that steroids or HGH, etc. was cheating because that's hard to refute, said Fainaru-Wada.

"They are banned for a reason. They work," Fainaru-Wada said.

The main issue was that there appears to be a backlash from a certain demographic - those under the age of 40 - of the sports fandom that doesn't really see drug use as a big issue. Yeah, sure, using PEDs are cheating, but so what. Sports and the games are nothing more than entertainment, the sentiment goes. The difference between going to the movies, a concert or a ballgame is barely palpable so if it's OK for Hollywood actors or pop stars to use HGH or testosterone why can't a baseball player?

"I've seen numerous fans say, ‘I don't care. I just want to be entertained,'" Yesalis said. "I've talked to a lot of young people. They aren't bent out of shape about this...

"I think in the under-40 crowd, it's strictly entertainment, and if they use drugs to make it more entertaining, whatever."

Whatever, indeed, unless, of course, an accused drug cheat just so happens to be a local star. In that regard, the fans just don't want to hear it. Actually, sometimes it seems as if the leagues don't want to hear it either.

"There's tremendous fan resistance to hearing your local star player is a drug cheat," Williams said.

The celebrity culture appears to have co-opted the sports world. Blame certain blogs that focus on everything except the finer details and nuance of the actual game or blame the jocks for buying into the notion that they are celebrities in a jersey. Either way, it's clear that the red carpet extends beyond the front door of the multiplex.

For better or worse.

The trio also discussed drug testing and how the leagues tout the programs as proof that it has rid the scourge of drug use from its games, but in reality, Yesalis said, "If you're really stupid, you'll flunk. Those people who are not really stupid, don't."

But while baseball is at "peril" with its drug problem, the problem in the NFL is nearly complete. Actually, said Fainaru-Wada, fans believe that it's just a few athletes getting away with it while the rest of the league is clean - a few doped apples spoiling the bunch. The truth is much more sobering, they said.

"You look at these guys, these are not the normal human beings that we all coexist with. Some 300-pound guy running a 4.4 in the 40 is not normal," Fainaru-Wada said.

"There's a societal sort of acceptance that the NFL is a different animal and there's not as much of a push on that."

Yesalis said estimates that 90-to-95 percent of NFL players are using human growth hormone.

Repeat that...

It's 90-to-95 percent of NFL players are using human growth hormone.

That claim is just kind of out there without much behind it. Is it speculation or does Yesalis have proof? But, no matter what, the statistic is quite staggering. Especially if Yesalis is in the ballpark... 90-to-95 percent?

Wow.

More: Steroid Nation - Yesalis, Williams and Fainaru-Wada on steroid panel at Penn State: 95% of NFL players use HGH

McCaskey in the house!

Needless to say, the e-mails are flying fast and furious amongst the J.P. McCaskey alums scattered across the area. The biggest sentiment, of course, is rooting for a nationally televised Eagles game when the starting lineup announces itself with the pre-recorded, transposed messages spread over the screen. No. 84, Kris Wilson, McCaskey High School...

You're damn right!

Kris Wilson, of course, is the newly signed free-agent tight end for the Eagles. After four seasons playing behind Tony Gonzalez in Kansas City, Wilson, who also plays H-back and fullback, inked a three-year deal. Wilson was also a second-round draft choice of the Chiefs in 2004 from the University of Pittsburgh, where he totaled 88 receptions, 1431 yards, and 15 touchdowns as a four-year starter. A two-time Big East All-Academic team selection, Wilson is also fluent in Spanish and Portuguese.

That's the press release stuff. But most importantly, Wilson graduated from McCaskey High in '99, a full decade after yours truly. Unfortunately for Wilson, his McCaskey football team did not finish the regular season 10-0 and advance to the District III championship game, which, truth be told, is not something every team can do. But surely Wilson has played in much bigger games since the ones he played at the Barney Ewell Complex.

Anyway, with Wilson in the fold it gives me a good excuse to start checking out the Eagles again. They were pretty boring until they got a McCaskey guy... but then again it always takes people from the J.P. to liven things up.

Wait, do these games really count?

Apparently, Opening Day for the 2008 baseball season is today or tomorrow or soon. The reason why I can't pin it down in my head is because the Red Sox and the A's will play the opener in Japan. The Red Sox, in case folks have forgotten, play their home games in Boston. Though the so-called New England "hub" is home to all sorts of people from all over the world, it hasn't picked up and moved to Japan. It's still up there north of Cape Cod and south of New Hampshire last time anyone checked. Oakland, the home of the A's, remains in the United States of America, too. Out in California's Bay Area, Oakland has the reputation as being the ugly cousin of next-door neighbor, San Francisco. But the truth is Oakland was named by Rand McNally as having the best weather in the U.S. And according to the 2000 U.S. census, Oakland is the most ethnically diverse city in the country.

Boston is also home to the most ravenous baseball fans in the country where the big-moneyed Sox have supplanted the deep-pocketed Yankees as baseball's best team to hate. Perhaps winning the World Series twice in the past four years gives a team that kind of reputation.

The A's, meanwhile, are the opposite of the Red Sox when it comes to buying the best players needed, but helped establish the blueprint for how modern baseball front offices are run. In essence, the Red Sox have cribbed the A's and general manager Billy Beane's notes only they have the cash to back it up.

However, in the early 1970s, the A's were the most dominant and disliked team in baseball. With stars like Reggie Jackson, Catfish Hunter, Rollie Fingers, and Vida Blue, the A's won the World Series three years in a row with flamboyant and controversial owner Charlie Finley pulling the strings.

Plus, the A's went to the World Series three years in a row from 1988 to 1990 and have been to the playoffs five times since 2000.

Needless to say the Red Sox and A's have some impressive recent history and are clearly a pair of the better franchises in all of baseball. As a result, the fans in both cities are some of the savviest in the Major Leagues, which means a ballgame in Oakland or Boston - especially an Opening Day game - is as good a venue as any place in the world.

So why would the Red Sox and A's want to play the first batch of baseball games of the season in Japan?

Well, actually they don't, but the players got paid an extra $40,000 to make the trip to help Major League Baseball internationalize a game in a country where it already is king. The Japanese are as baseball crazy as any country in the world and the Japanese big leagues are more than just a proving ground for potential Major Leaguers.

It would be one thing if the Major League teams never staged exhibitions in Japan, but that's not the case. In fact, U.S. ballclubs have been touring Japan since the 1930s when Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig barnstormed through the Far East. Recently, big league All-Stars play Japanese All-Stars in a series up and down the island where they are just as well known as they would be in most big U.S. cities. After all, the American game is followed fairly closely in Japan. In fact, Japanese media outlets send teams of reporters to cover the dozens of Japanese players toiling away in the big leagues.

So why "internationalize" something that is just as ubiquitous there as it is here? Is MLB out-smarting itself again? Don't you hate when that happens?

More importantly, the A's are losing a pair of home games, which to the fans in Oakland is kind of like a kick in the crotch. Though there are 162 games in the baseball season, each one of them is precious and has equal importance. Think about how much wear-and-tear a team goes through by crossing the International Dateline in all-day flights just to play a game that feels like an exhibition but really counts toward the bottom line. And that's not just the bottom line in the standings, either. It also counts in the stats ledger where ballplayers' fortunes and futures are decided. Let's just say a pitcher goes out and gets shelled because his body clock is all messed up from such a long trip. Or maybe he can't shake the lethargy because he's used to eating grits and home fries at the Waffle House on the way to the ballpark every morning and because he's out of his tried-and-true routine, the pitches have no snap, his ERA balloons and he gets released at the end of the season.

Is that fair? And is it fair to assume that a Major League Baseball player knows there are no Waffle Houses in Japan. Come on... what was the first thing Kyle Kendrick asked the press when they played that little prank on him about getting traded to Japan? You remember -- it was about the food.

"Do they have good food over there?"

Yeah, but don't expect the International House of Pancakes to be truly international.

So the A's and Red Sox opened the season in Japan and here in the U.S. fans are getting the shaft... again. Worse, the A's are losing two games in their home ballpark, which can't be replaced for any amount of cash.

Coming up: The Beijing Olympics followed by Jimmy Rollins. Later, we go to the ballpark.

Have you seen Junior's grades?

Here's that David Lee Roth isolated vocal track from Runnin' with the Devil, from back when he was fronting Van Halen. Yes, it just gets funnier and funnier each time you hear it.

David Lee Roth: Runnin' with the Devil (vocal)

P.S. I know the title of the post is not a line from the vocal that's posted. However, that line from And the Cradle will Rock could be the greatest single line from any Van Halen song ever recorded... and we don't make that statement lightly.

Addendum,  March 22: We found a nice interview with the Philadelphia Daily News columnist, Rich Hofmann, on a site called Sports Media Guide. Check it out.

(Not so) tough as nails

It's kind of fun to see Lenny Dykstra turning up everywhere as the veritable media dynamo that he has become. By now, most folks have caught the new Lenny on HBO's Real Sports talking about his career as a day trader with Bernie Goldberg. There Lenny was again in the pages of The New Yorker (yes, The New Yorker), discussing his latest venture called The Players Club, which is a magazine aimed at professional athletes on how they can better invest their high incomes so that they don't squander it all before their playing days end.

Dykstra says it will be "the world's best magazine" and throws around such superlatives about nearly everything he has purchased as if he were out for revenge or if he had somehow been shortchanged somewhere along the line. His car, a German Maybach, is "the best car." He bought a Gulfstream plane because, "it's the best in the world and there isn't even a close second."

It doesn't stop with the big things, either. He raves about a door in his $17 million house purchased from Wayne Gretzky, as well as about the house itself and the weather in Southern California. It's all the best and more than mirrors Dykstra's style as a player that was, needless to say, all about him and "look at me." Oh sure, Dykstra wanted to win and all of that. But given a choice between running into a fence and injuring himself or remaining healthy and on the field, Dykstra always went for the short-term glory.

But that theory flies in the face of the mission behind his The Players Club. As he said in The New Yorker:

"I'm forty-four, with a lot of mileage, dude. A lot of mileage." The chaw is gone, and he hasn't had a drink in years. "When the market opens at six o'clock in the morning out here, I mean, dude, you got to be up," he says. "You get to a point in your life where, yeah, I loved baseball, but baseball's a small part. I'm going to build something that can change the fucking outcome of people's lives."

Yes, because helping multi-millionaires from separating themselves from their money is soooooo altruistic.

Anyway, in addition to Real Sports and The New Yorker, Dykstra's name has also appeared in a story in which an accounting firm is suing him for $110,000 for money owed for accounting and tax work.

Then Dykstra's name showed up a handful of times in The Mitchell Report, which didn't really come as a surprise to anyone. Yet, the Mitchell Report and Dykstra's physical health is the one issue that seemed to be glossed over during the HBO profile and the magazine story. With Goldberg, Dykstra's speech was somewhat slurred, a point exemplified in Ben McGrath's story:

His hands tremble, his back hurts, and his speech, like that of an insomniac or a stroke victim, lags slightly behind his mind. He winks without obvious intent. In his playing days, he had a term for people like this: fossils. Nothing about his physical presence any longer suggests nails, and sometimes, as if in joking recognition of this softening, he answers the phone by saying, "Thumbtacks."

But that's it. Dykstra's health, just like the depth and true worth of his financial portfolio are taken at face value. In fact, the only nuance presented in either story came from Dykstra's personality. There, Dykstra appears to be in 1993 form.

*** Meanwhile, the final stop on Floyd Landis' appeal hearing has planted itself in New York City where the case enters its third day. Landis and the USADA will present cases today and tomorrow before wrapping it all up on Monday. Then they will wait for the panel of three arbitrators with the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) to make a decision, which will come sometime during the calendar year... probably.

Nevertheless, there has been very little in the way of rumblings from the USADA or Landis camps, which is quite the opposite from last May's hearing. Plus, Floyd likes to talk and hasn't said anything to anyone.

But for a preview of the proceedings in NYC, here's a story from ESPN's Bonnie D. Ford.

*** I don't like to brag[1], but I went 14-for-16 in the first day of NCAA tournament selections. I tripped up on the UNLV-Kent State and West Virginia-Arizona games.

Still, it's not too bad for someone convinced that the tournament is nothing more than a lot of hot air until the second weekend begins.

*** Finally, in an interesting development, arena rock stalwarts Pearl Jam announced that they will take Ted Leo and his Pharmacists out with them for the first part of their U.S. tour, which opens in Camden, N.J. on June 19. Certainly such a decision means that Pearl Jam aims to bust their collective asses during the six dates in which Teddy Rock Star opens up the shows. After all, if Eddie Vedder and the gang give just the slightest of inches, Ted + Rx will own them.

Fortunately for the Pearl Jammers, work ethic has never been an issue. That means it will be an action-packed six shows for all involved.

Jun 19 -- Camden, N.J. -- Susquehanna Bank Center Jun 22 -- Washington, D.C. -- Verizon Center

Jun 24 -- New York, N.Y. - Madison Square Garden Jun 25 -- New York, N.Y. - Madison Square Garden

Jun 27 -- Hartford, Conn. -- Dodge Amphitheater Jun 30 -- Mansfield, Mass. -- Tweeter Center

The always interesting Kings of Leon will take over the opening duties after Ted Leo leaves the tour.

More: Ted Leo covers Rush on WFMU

---

[1] Uh, yeah I do.

Five Years...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG443N7lo4Q&hl=en]

Don't believe the hype

Quick question: What's more overhyped, the Super Bowl or the NCAA Tournament?

The easy answer is the NCAA Tournament, and here's why. It's because the Super Bowl doesn't mask what it is - a three-ring spectacle of celebrity and entertainment with a football game in the center ring. Hell, sometimes people even go to the Super Bowl to watch a football game, but if they don't there are still plenty of things to do.

Seriously, does Hugh Hefner show up at the Super Bowl every year because he's interested in football?

The NCAA Tournament, meanwhile, paints itself as the egalitarian of college sports championships, which is kind of true but not really. Sure, the selection committee lines up all the teams based on some sort of secret formula and allows them to settle it on the court. In that sense the NCAA Tournament is cool, and, of course, it generates those ubiquitous brackets that used to infiltrate every office copier this time of year before such things as copier machines and paper became anachronisms. Now, every so-called "bracket challenge" or whichever cliché gets tossed around like the equally cliché office hoops know-it-all with multiple brackets in all of the pools, is online.

The Internet, believe it or not, turned the NCAA Tournament bracket into cultural wallpaper.

Nevertheless, every year at this time the NCAA, CBS and its corporate sponsors trot out the notion of the mythical Cinderella turning up at the last minute to be the babe of the ball and steal the show. CBS touts upsets and defines its coverage with a dizzying array of highlights and cut-ins at venues around the country in order to capture the faux notion that something in line with Chaminade knocking off No. 1 ranked Virginia in a tiny gym near the beach in Oahu. Instead, these "upsets" come from teams that play in the so-called "mid-major" conferences.

Typically, these mid major teams run out of upsets by the second weekend of the tournament. That's when the big basketball factories reclaim the tournament and follow the proper path assigned them by the selection committee. After all, CBS wants ratings for its tournament and knows that the alums and fans from Duke, North Carolina and Kansas tune in at numbers than the handful of folks that follow the basketball program at George Mason or Butler.

But occasionally a team like George Mason breaks through to the Final Four, which isn't as surprising as it sounds. Sure, George Mason plays in the Colonial Athletic Association, which slips through the cracks of the coverage bestowed on the big programs of the ACC or Big East, but the CAA isn't anything to sneeze at.

For one thing, painting George Mason and teams of its ilk as mighty little underdogs fighting against the monoliths is wrong. Mason isn't a David in the battle against Goliath, nor is it a mom-and-pop shop slaying Wal-Mart before it gets crushed and the organic nature of a downtown is destroyed. Actually, the mid majors are just that - mid majors. They are like the regional chain with shops across the region that takes a chunk out of Wal-Mart's market share. Sure, more people shop at Wal-Mart or Target or Starbucks, but that isn't putting Giant or Acme out of business.

Still, there are true underdogs in the NCAA Tournament. Those teams are from the Ivy League and they have no shot. None.

There, I said it.

What's the point of having those teams in the "Big Dance" when all we get to read about come March is how no Ivy League school has won a tournament game since Princeton beat UNLV in 1998 or how Princeton upset UCLA in 1996 or almost beat No. 1 Georgetown and Patrick Ewing way back when.

Everyone seems to have forgotten that Penn made it to the Final Four, and I think I know the reason why. Ready? Get in really close so you can hear this...

BECAUSE IT WAS NEARLY 30 YEARS AGO!

Here are some handy dandy facts from an New York Times story published last year about Ivy League schools in the NCAA Tournament:

But in the eight seasons since Princeton beat the Rebels, Ivy teams have lost by an average of 14 points and haven't been seeded high than No. 11. That doesn't bode well for Penn.

And:

Here are the results of the Ivy's [nine]-game N.C.A.A. losing streak:

2007 No. 3 Texas A&M 68 No. 14 Penn 52

2006 No. 2 Texas 60 No. 15 Penn 52

2005 No.4 Boston College 85 No. 13 Penn 65

2004 No. 3 Texas 66 No. 14 Princeton 49

2003 No. 6 Oklahoma State 77 No. 11 Penn 63

2002 No. 6 California 82 No. 11 Penn 75

2001 No. 2 North Carolina 70 No. 15 Princeton 48

2000 No. 4 Illinois 68 No. 13 Penn 58

1999 No. 6 Florida 75 No. 11 Penn 61

Just once I'd like to see Penn - or Cornell this season (or any other Ivy League school ) - tell the NCAA Tournament, "thanks, but no thanks. We're not going to travel across the country to be a first-round hors d'oeuvres for a potential national title contender. We're going to take our chances in the NIT where we have a chance to win. We don't need to play the No. 3 seed and lose so everyone can call us 'scrappy or laud us for being student-athletes.'"

Yeah, I know this probably isn't a popular sentiment, but I can't understand the logic of a team going to a tournament that it has no chance of not just winning, but also being competitive. Sure, Cornell could get lucky and win a game this year, but the thing about the NCAA Tournament is that those No. 13, 14 and 15 seeds don't last too long after the first upset. In fact, I'd like my odds of winning the Powerball over Cornell's (or Princeton, Yale, Brown, Columbia, Penn or Dartmouth... not Harvard - they have it all figured out) chances to win two games in an NCAA Tournament.

So, yes, Cinderella exists in the Big Dance. It's just that come Friday night she's at home by herself again.

*** Anyway, I filled out a bracket on the CSN.com web site's "Bracket Challenge!" and just like last year I consulted a mathematician/statistician in order to crunch the numbers.

The picks: Memphis vs. Kansas in the championship with the Jayhawks winning it all.

Nope, I can't name a single player on either team. That's why it was so difficult for me to go against Georgetown since it's hard to bet against a team that has John Thompson and Patrick Ewing. If only the Hoyas could get David Wingate, Reggie Williams, Michael Jackson and Horace Broadnax... look out!

As for the Big 5 teams... let's just say the odds don't look good. I'm going 0-3, but then again, what do I know?

Practice, not a game

Ed. note: The following was slated to run on the special CSN 10th Anniversary Web site, but was spiked because the content, I was told, was a sore spot with certain folks. I'm not sure who those folks are (actually, I am, but I'm not going to tell you), but I was also told to save the essay for my blog. I never felt like it fit until now because Allen Iverson will play in Philadelphia for the first time since his trade to Denver. When Comcast SportsNet hit the cable airwaves in these parts on Oct. 1, 1997 it literally changed how diehard sports fans watch their games. Actually, it changed nothing about how we sit around and watch a routine ballgame on any given Tuesday night on the calendar. No, Comcast SportsNet changed how we watch the games.

Emphasis, as stated, on watch.

What changed wasn't a person's rudimentary knowledge of the sport or the rules or whatever. It's a little more nuanced than that. Instead, what Comcast SportsNet did was take the pre- and post-game media scrums and turned on a camera. Sounds simple, huh? Well, sometimes the smartest move is the most obvious one. Yet by making that simple, smart move, CSN gave the viewers at home essentially the same vantage point as most of the reporters covering the games - only without the player interaction and clubhouse towel-snapping and whatnot.

And trust me, that is no great perk.

Nevertheless, by turning on the cameras for the press conferences and locker room action, Comcast SportsNet gave the intuitive fan something a little more breathable than the five-second sound byte on the evening news mixed in with 90-seconds of highlights. It also made the quotes in the newspaper a little more tangible. Instead of reading between the lines of a quote for the deeper meaning, or relying on the analysis of desk jockeys breaking down the game on the post-game show, fans were given the chance to deconstruct a player's words. Body language, facial expressions and inflection of voice were all there to be translated in any manner a fan chose.

Sure, it is still true that the best quotes and the best stories are still the dominion of the print media. This little caveat of the sports media is unlikely to change and there are many reasons why. One, of course, is that a conversation between one player and one scribe is typically more revealing than the one between a player, an interviewer, a cameraman and the thousands of folks watching at home. Players are human and humans prefer the intimate nature of a quiet conversation between small groups of people. When those camera lights go on sometimes even the most seasoned player sweat, shake and quiver with nervousness. Being on TV, even in this age of media over-saturation, is still a big deal. Until everyone is wired (wireless) with a microphone for their own web site(s), the dichotomy between TV and newspapers covering sports is not going to change. But as for the everyday press conference with the players and the coaches, Comcast SportsNet changed the game.

It's all there, unedited and unfiltered.

Now it's hard to discern whether or not turning the basic press conference into reality television is an act of genius or not. After all, it doesn't take Stephen Hawking to figure out that sports fans want as much access to their sports heroes as possible. Genius, of course is in the eye of the beholder - one man's Picasso is another man's velvet Elvis.

However, one of the greatest moments in the history of television (at least in the last 10 years) was aired live on Comcast SportsNet - unbleeped. That moment was on May 8, 2002 when Allen Iverson delivered his famous "practice" press conference.

OK. I know what you're thinking. You are questioning the hyperbolic notion that Allen Iverson talking about practice (not a game) was some sort of transcendent TV moment like the last episode of MASH or something like that. I guess in that regard, you are right.

But not by much.

Here's why the Iverson moment was touchstone event:

It transcended mere sports and became an actual figment of the pop culture. The phrase, "We're talkin' ‘bout practice, man," has entered the popular lexicon and become a significant slab of cultural wallpaper.

Still not buying it? OK, try this:

In July of 2006 I was walking with my family on the Pearl Street pedestrian mall in Boulder, Colo., which is that town's version of South Street only it's cleaner, more eclectic and filled with vagabonds begging for change wearing $250 peasants' shirts and $125 Merrell sandals. About 10 minutes into a walk past falafel stands, smoothie shops and kiosks advertising the gigs for the latest touring jam band, a kid on a skateboard wiped out right at my feet. I gave him a moment to catch his breath (my son chased down his board) and then offered a hand to get the kid back on his feet. Once I realized he was OK and would live to skate (or die!) another day, I said, "Looks like you need a little more practice."

"Practice," he said, without hesitation and as he brushed a well-coifed dread from his face. "We're talkin' about practice."

Then he smiled and skated away.

Has anyone ever heard of a skateboard kid quoting Jim Mora's "Playoffs" screed, another famous post-game rant that was captured on live TV? How about Howard Dean's demented rebel yell? I sincerely doubt it. But Allen Iverson, thanks to Comcast SportsNet's foresight, gave that wannabe Neil Blender in Boulder a quipy line to throw back at some smart-alecky, 30-something from Pennsylvania.

And we are all the better for it.

OK, you concede, the Iverson press conference was a cultural phenomenon. But didn't the Terrell Owens press conferences from his driveway - including the one where he invited everyone over to watch him do sit-ups - supersede Iverson's, "Practice"?

No, and here's why:

If you go to the circus and see a man swallow a two-foot sword engorged with flames, it isn't news. It's odd and maybe a bit disturbing when one wonders about how that circus performer (is "freak" the proper nomenclature?) discovered he had the innate ability to swallow fiery objects. Just how does he practice? Certainly the swallower has made mistakes while honing his act... what happened as the result of those sessions besides a few new scars and an interest in the stock performance of Bactine?

The point is that the dude swallowing the sword at the circus is simply doing his job. That's it. He's punching the clock. When Terrell Owens and his agent were doing their little song and dance in the driveway it was the same exact thing as the guy in the circus - it wasn't news, it was just a performance-art piece.

But what set Comcast SportsNet apart on May 8, 2002 was that it could tell a story better than anyone else simply by turning on the cameras and getting the heck out of the way. The second coming of Damon Runyan or Red Smith could never do justice to Iverson's words. Actually, you be the judge. First, here's is the video from that press conference.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDBR2L5kzI&hl=en]

And here is the transcript of the press conference:

"If Coach tells you that I missed practice, then that's that. I may have missed one practice this year, but if somebody says he missed one practice of all the practices this year, then that's enough to get a whole lot started. I told Coach Brown that you don't have to give the people of Philadelphia a reason to think about trading me or anything like that. If you trade somebody, you trade them to make the team better... simple as that. I'm cool with that. I'm all about that. The people in Philadelphia deserve to have a winner. It's simple as that. It goes further than that... If I can't practice, I can't practice. It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about practice. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last, but we're talking about practice man. How silly is that? ... Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example, and all that, but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do, but we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice man. We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about practice. When you come to the arena, and you see me play -- you've seen me play right -- you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're talking about practice right now. ... Hey I hear you; it's funny to me too. Hey it's strange to me too, but we're talking about practice man, we're not even talking about the game, when it actually matters, we're talking about practice ... How the hell can I make my teammates better by practicing?"

See what I mean. The video was so much better. Watching it again all these years later still makes me laugh because it's one of the greatest rants ever. But it also makes me remember how Allen Iverson played when he was with the 76ers. Sure, there were other issues with Iverson that will be deciphered and agonized over for decades to come, but no one can deny that Iverson was entertaining. He played hard, he played to win and, yes, even gave us a good show. Yeah, maybe people wanted Steve Nash as the undersized guard leading the title run, but when Iverson was here no one ever complained about being bored.

Better yet, we got to see the whole act, live, on Comcast SportsNet.

Rest up

There's a whole bunch of stories that piqued our interest today regarding the Phillies and intriguing topics. On the Phillies it seems as if Kris Benson is a little dinged up, though that doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. Actually, it just sounds like Benson needs what we marathoners call an "easy day." After weeks of piling hard days on top of each other, it sounds like Benson's right arm told his brain that it was shutting it down for a few days.

"I've been going a month straight now, throwing every single day, and it's held up pretty good," Benson said. "I've gotten pretty far along in this process. I think to expect me to go from the first day of camp to the last day of the season without taking a break here and there because it's going to fatigue out is ... not going to happen."

So Benson needs to go easy, which is how the body builds its self up. Most folks believe that the hard workouts are what makes an athlete strong, but that's not even the half of it. Muscle regenerates and grows during recovery and rest - it suffers micro-tears and gets beat to bits during work. That's part of the reason why human growth hormone is so popular - not only does it help create lean muscle mass, but also it allows an athlete to skip some of the recovery process.

Sleep, of course, is an important part of the process, too. In fact, celebrity doctor Mehmet C. Oz writes in the April, 2008 edition of Esquire that people need sleep more than they need food. That makes sense when one considers that it is during deep sleep that the body naturally produces HGH.

Writes Oz:

If you get less than six hours of sleep a night, you're in trouble. You need sleep more than you need food. When you're always tired, you actually age faster than you should.

In other words, work hard and then rest up because that's what it takes.

"If I could take a break now and take advantage of it and use this to build myself up for the 60-pitch area, to bump up to the next area, then I think in the long run it will be a good thing," Benson said.

Of course who could blame Benson for pushing it a little harder than he should have over the past few weeks? With the backend of the Phillies' rotation struggling and looking for some help, Benson probably saw a spot or two ripe for the proverbial picking. There are jobs to be had on a potential playoff club at stake and Benson rightfully reasoned that one of those spots could be his.

It still could, but it seems as if some extended spring work in Clearwater, followed by a minor-league rehab stint will be needed in the meantime.

*** Working-class hero Chris Coste's memoir, The 33-Year Old Rookie hit stores today. With a copy en route from the good folks at Ballantine Books, we will be sure to have a full review here ASAP.

*** Allen Iverson returns to Philadelphia for the first time with the Denver Nuggets tomor...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh, sorry about dozing off in the middle of a sentence like that. It's just that in Philadelphia, it's a tired old story that another all-time great is returning to town with another team. There are many issues with this trend, namely, why do all the really good players want to leave town?

How much time do we have?

Nevertheless, it will be a more exciting story when the all-time greats play their entire careers for a Philadelphia.

*** Sports and politics are always a bad mix, just like it was a bad idea for the Carter Adminstration to boycott the 1980 Olympic Games in Moscow. But if there were ever an Olympics to be boycotted, this summer's games in Beijing are ripe.

Excluding the issues regarding China's horrendous human-rights record, environmental and pollution atrocities as well as the most recent killings in yet another crackdown against basic freedoms in Tibet make one wonder why the International Olympic Committee would ever consider having its games in China in the first place.

Plus, athletes aren't even allowed to sign autographs for their fans as evidenced by the Chan Ho Park incident in Beijing last week.

Perhaps the best measure of protest against the Chinese is the French Olympic committee's move to boycott the opening ceremonies in August. Even better is the subtle - but powerful - protest by Haile Gebrselassie to skip the Olympic marathon. This is quite meaningful because Gebrselassie shattered the world record in the marathon last October. Plus, Geb is the most decorated distance runner in history with stirring Olympic victories in the 10,000 meters in 1996 and 2000 in what are regarded as the most dramatic runs in the event's history.

So when Geb says pollution in Beijing is a concern enough to skip the Olympics, the issues are worth investigating...

Like why would the IOC award Beijing with something like the Olympics in the first place?

*** The autopsy for top American marathoner Ryan Shay was finally released today - 4 ½ months after his death in the Olympic Trials in New York City. It appears as if Shay's heart was too big - no drugs, no foul play. But everyone who knew Shay never suspected any of that in the first place.

*** Tomorrow: Lenny Dykstra and the NCAA Tournament

Wyoming, Texas and everywhere else

There are a lot of stories to react to today and none of them involve the Phillies at all. But then again, why would they? Why do people think that writing about and watching the Phillies is vital to our national discourse and sovereignty? Because you know what - I've been around and I know for a fact that most people don't care. How? Well, grab a seat...

Not too long ago my wife, then two-year old son and I drove from Estes Park, Colorado to Cheyenne, Wyoming. Along the way we stopped at a handful of roadside stands in the Big Thompson Canyon, where I remember buying some wild chokecherry jelly. Apparently it was native to that small, specific region of Colorado where the altitude and elements affected the chokecherries just so.

Plus, it was kind of cool stopping at a roadside stand outside of Lancaster County outposts like Blue Ball or Intercourse where they don't have things like chokecherries. Apparently, the chokecherry can kill a horse even though it makes a helluva jelly.

Anyway, we drove to Wyoming where we saw nothing and realized that something called Major League Baseball was just something else other people did.

Here's what I wrote after having lunch at the train depot at the end of Capitol Street in Cheyenne:

I don't know how many of you folks out there have ever been to Wyoming, but there is nothing there. And when I say "there is nothing there," I don't mean, "We went to Wyoming and all they had was a freaking Wal-Mart and a bunch of rednecks hanging out at the mall..." There was no mall. There was no Wal-Mart either. In fact, the reason we met the Governor was because we walked into the state house thinking there would be some sort of historical tour or something (there wasn't). Instead, we marched right up the front steps, entered the building without going through any security clearance, and then made a hard right into the Governor's office. Yeah, that's right -- the Governor of the entire state was sitting about 25 yards from where some sporadic midday traffic was halfheartedly whizzing by.

Crazy, huh? Think Ed Rendell would get his ample ass up from behind his desk for anything less than a 6-foot hoagie? No, me either.

There was a lot I learned about Wyoming and Cheyenne that I'm saving for a more ambitious project and won't bore anyone with the details here. I'm sure no one wants to hear about the finer details of the drive from Estes Park, Colo. through Northern Colorado and into Wyoming. I have pages on that. Nor do I think anyone is too interested in how Wyoming was the first state to allow women to vote -- they have a big statue for Esther Hobart in front of the capitol. She led the suffrage movement.

Sure, Dick Cheney is from Wyoming, but so is Jackson Pollock and Nellie Taylor Ross, the first woman governor of any state in the union.

Forget all of that, but remember this: according to the 2000 census, the population of Cheyenne is 52, 011. That makes it the largest city in the state. It also is quite a bit less than Lancaster, Pa., and Lancaster has a whole bunch of things Cheyenne doesn't -- a few Wal-Marts, Taco-Bells... you know, suburban sprawl. Wyoming has none of that. From my experience, the nine miles from the Wyoming state line to Cheyenne makes the Pennsylvania Dutch Country look like Manhattan.

Or how about this: Nobody in Cheyenne gives a [bleep] about the Phillies, nor has anyone ever heard of Bill Conlin. Of course, we didn't get a chance to talk to everyone, but we got a good start in a walk up and down Capitol Street and into a Western clothier called "The Wrangler," where they have all the gear stocked up in anticipation for this weekend's Frontier Days, which, if my rudimentary knowledge of professional rodeo is on the money, is akin to the U.S. Open in golf.

So, nope, most people don't care about the Phillies, which is kind of a roundabout way of getting to the interesting things I read over the past 24 hours.

*** Jack McCallum of Sports Illustrated led a series of stories about performance-enhancing drugs and how they have a grip in American society beyond the sporting world. Actually, look no further than the entertainment industry for a good primer as to how the steroid culture pervades public life.

In fact, during last week's Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame inductions, little Justin Timberlake and Madonna spoke quite cavalierly from the stage about injections of B-12 and even described the 49-year old pop star's travel kit with her supplements of shots... you know, because everyone walks around with needles and doses of B-12.

From McCollum:

Few segments of society depend as heavily on physical appearance as Hollywood, and it turns out that Sylvester Stallone, who may one day give us Rambo: The Assisted-Living Years, needed more than one-handed pushups and raw eggs at dawn to stay cut. Last May in Australia the 61-year-old Stallone paid $10,600 to settle a charge of criminal drug possession after he was found to have 48 vials of HGH and several vials of testosterone. Stallone has since acknowledged that he takes HGH and testosterone regularly, and legally. "Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it [HGH and testosterone use] because it increases the quality of your life," Stallone told Time last month.

Adds a prominent Hollywood plastic surgeon, who requested anonymity because he has many clients in the industry, "If you're an actor in Hollywood and you're over 40, you are doing HGH. Period. Why wouldn't you? It makes your skin look better, your hair, your fingernails, everything."

Chuck Zito -- former Hells Angel, former bodyguard to the stars, former Hollywood stuntman and beefcake extra, former sinister presence on HBO's Oz -- was an enthusiastic steroid and HGH user for three years during his acting days earlier this decade. "It's just something everybody did," says Zito, "and they're still doing it. It's ridiculous that we only talk about it in sports. You think these actors who suddenly get big for a movie, then go back to normal get like that by accident? You put 30 pounds of muscle on and you expect everybody to believe that just happened?"

Isn't just like people to look for shortcuts? That's especially the case when staying fit and looking "healthy" takes nothing more than a little bit of work and discipline... but who has time to eat properly, exercise well and get the correct amount of sleep?

A good work ethic is just too old-fashioned.

*** Because I have ties to the sports world and academia, I often hear about parents that push their kids into athletics with the hope of the kid getting a college scholarship. Sometimes the parents spend tens of thousands of dollars a year for special camps and private coaching with the hope of making Little Jimmy the next great Big Man on Campus.

Certainly such sentiment is a sea change from how things were in my day when we were told very early on (like in sixth grade) that we wouldn't be good enough.

And it was true. The high school I attended was (and is) widely regarded as the area's best school for athletics. Through many different eras the track and basketball teams have been more than dominant - they've been unbeatable. During my senior year the golf, track and cross country teams won 70-plus league meets without a loss. Meanwhile, the football and basketball teams tore through league play and into the district title matchups.

And we weren't that good.

Yet throughout the school's 70-year history of owning the area's top athletic programs, there have been just three alums to make it to the Major Leagues and two others to get to the NFL. Of those five, three of them are currently active.

What this means is that it's a long way to the top if you want to rock ‘n roll.

But what The New York Times offered in a three-day series chronicling the stories of scholarship athletes and the coaches at Villanova and Delaware is that it might be easier to go from college to the pros than it is to get a full ride for even the best high school athletes.

Excluding the glamour sports of football and basketball, the average N.C.A.A. athletic scholarship is nowhere near a full ride, amounting to $8,707. In sports like baseball or track and field, the number is routinely as low as $2,000. Even when football and basketball are included, the average is $10,409. Tuition and room and board for N.C.A.A. institutions often cost between $20,000 and $50,000 a year.

"People run themselves ragged to play on three teams at once so they could always reach the next level," said Margaret Barry of Laurel, Md., whose daughter is a scholarship swimmer at the University of Delaware. "They're going to be disappointed when they learn that if they're very lucky, they will get a scholarship worth 15 percent of the $40,000 college bill. What's that? $6,000?"

Within the N.C.A.A. data, last collected in 2003-4 and based on N.C.A.A. calculations from an internal study, are other statistical insights about the distribution of money for the 138,216 athletes who received athletic aid in Division I and Division II.

¶Men received 57 percent of all scholarship money, but in 11 of the 14 sports with men's and women's teams, the women's teams averaged higher amounts per athlete.

¶On average, the best-paying sport was neither football nor men's or women's basketball. It was men's ice hockey, at $21,755. Next was women's ice hockey ($20,540).

¶The lowest overall average scholarship total was in men's riflery ($3,608), and the lowest for women was in bowling ($4,899). Baseball was the second-lowest men's sport ($5,806).

Interestingly, NCAA president Myles Brand pointed out in one of the stories that if kids are really hell bent on getting free money for college, they are better off applying themselves in academics than in sports.

"The real opportunity is taking advantage of how eager institutions are to reward good students," he said. "In America's colleges, there is a system of discounting for academic achievement. Most people with good academic records aren't paying full sticker price. We don't want people to stop playing sports; it's good for them. But the best opportunity available is to try to improve one's academic qualifications."

*** Finally, there was an interesting story on the South by Southwest festival in The Wall Street Journal on how the Austin, Texas-based fest organizers are trying to keep "the suits" out.

To that we say, "Good for them."

Also at SXSW, the legendary Lou Reed was a keynote speaker and was feted in a tribute concert in which piles of bands played his songs. I bet it was kind of cool, though some old dude writing for Austin's newspaper though the Reed-fest was a little much.

The old dude named Corcoran wrote:

SXSW keynoter Lou Reed played the "Lou Reed Tribute" Thursday evening at the Levi's/Fader Fort. He performed "Walk On the Wild Side" with Moby, not really an adventurous choice. The songs I heard for two hours, many of them sounding alike, kinda rat out Reed as an overrated songwriter in the right place, right time. Where's his "I Say a Little Prayer?." What's the great song he's written in the past 30 years?

OK, where do we start... look, it's fine - and maybe even correct - to write that Reed might be a little overrated. Frankly, who isn't a little overrated these days. But that last sentence, What's the great song he's written in the past 30 years? ... oh my.

Talk about a pile of crap.

First, Reed, as a schoolboy at Syracuse, had a direct link (through poet Delmore Schwartz) to T.S. Eliot, William Carlos Williams, Ezra Pound and Vlad Nabokov. But then again, why would something as heady as that matter to a newspaper writer?

But I just can't get past that line -- What's the great song he's written in the past 30 years? Really, is Corcoran that dim? Reed's album Magic & Loss, released in 1991, is one that I have owned since it came out but have only been able to listen to one time because it's just way too real and I'm not enough of an adult to deal with it. It's as much of a bleeping knockout punch as it is haunting.

In 1990 Reed teamed with old Velvet Underground mate John Cale for the romantic Songs for Drella, which is an elegant, funny, sweet, trenchant and unflinching tribute to Andy Warhol as could ever be produced.

In 1989 Reed released the epic New York not only led the back-to-basics movement that spawned the so-called grunge sound a half decade later, but as rated 19^th best album of the 1980s by Rolling Stone it is criminally underrated.

So what great song has Reed written in the past 30 years? I don't know, are three great albums that aren't bound by such trite media notions as time or era enough?

Nothing to see here

I just have some clerical things today, mostly because I don't know if I have the energy to wax on about the Cardinals' stunning, $4.25 million deal with right-handed pitcher Kyle Lohse. Does the Phillies' shunning of Lohse and his reportedly high contract demands mean that the team is ready to go with Adam Eaton and/or Kris Benson at the back of the rotation?

How does one get a red stain out of a white shirt?

Perhaps we will never know...

Anyway, we will (and by "we" I mean I) be working on a number of projects over the next few weeks. Namely, there will likely be a semi-regular podcast produced, hosted, edited, coded and posted by moi ready to go in the coming week or two. The hope is for it to be a weekly thing complete with somewhat topical interviews, musical interludes and probably guests, but I suppose that was assumed when I mentioned the part about interviews.

Then again, I'm sure no one would put it past me to talk to myself.

Also, the weekly Phillies column-y type thing will return from a four or five (or six) year hiatus next Friday. The plan is for it to be a multi-media extravaganza instead of just a bunch of words... however, I like words. Sometimes they say just what I mean.

Since this is an Olympic year and sports of that ilk will be in the forefront of the American consciousness when the Beijing Games open in August, there will be a few stories about that kind of stuff on local folks hoping to go to Eugene for the Olympic Trials and China for the really, really, really big dance.

The final appeal in the Floyd Landis case will be heard next week in New York City, too. Surely some news or a few stories will come out of that... meanwhile, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the ridiculous story by Martin Dugard on Floyd in something called "Orange Coast Magazine." Surely Dugard's fanboy and jock-sniffing ethics have been unabashed if not questionable, and in this one he buries the ultimate lede... 15 grafs and perhaps three years too late.

Look, I think writing about writers is terribly tacky and hacky, but I'm sure I'll wade in over the next few days. In the meantime, Joe Lindsey of "The Boulder Report" pretty much nails it.

Also: his book Chasing Lance sucked.

Finally, Opening Day is approaching, which is always really, really mind numbing. I'd say Game 77 of the 162-game season is more important and exciting as Game 1, but whatever. No sense of me ruining people's fun just because they like all that Field of Dreams crap and Opening Day.

*** Tonight's pick for the SXSW Festival in Austin, Texas is the great and heroic Billy Bragg. I think we all remember where we were and what we were doing the first time we ever heard Billy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7d6ZwAp28Y&hl=en]

Meanwhile, word is The Pogues showed up for a gig in Philly last night. I haven't heard from anyone whether or not McGowan made it through the show upright and under his own power.

*** Finally, since I have a bit of bitch-fest going here, check out my entry into my daily running log:

Friday morning - 1st run: 13 miles in 1:22:59 Ran reasonably uptempo and was going to hit the last 5 in 29 until some idiot took her dog off a leash and allowed it to run me over. The damn thing slammed into my right knee, took out my legs and send my sprawling onto the Baker Field grass landing on my left hip.

Needless to say, I wasn't too cool when I got up, especially since I was moving a little bit and there were at least THREE signs posted that dog owners had to keep their animals on a leash (as well as clean up the shit off the grass, but they don't do that too well either). Look, I owned dogs all of my life and I'm certain that the animals never ran over anyone. I never thought it was too difficult to be responsible about respecting certain rules as well as other people who may or may not want to be run over by dogs.

Here's a question and answer based on what I gleaned from most dog owners in my neighborhood:

Question: What is the only creature more stupid than a dog?

Answer: A dog owner.

When the signs read, "Keep your dog on a leash," it really means, "Yes, even YOU have to keep YOUR dog on a leash."

See, most dog owners can't even read.

Idiots.

splits: 1st 5: 32:58 2nd 5: 30:34 - slowed by dog attack last 3: 19:27

Good-looking 'Oh-fer'

Billy Crystal and Ichiro have the same batting average this spring. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCqPHMFTRTo&hl=en]

When pelicans attack

There is a story out there about how all sorts of crazy, goofy accidents have beset certain beat writers covering the Boston Red Sox. For instance, Seitaro Shimomura, who covers the Red Sox for the Japanese newspaper Yomiuri Shimbun, turned up late for a game against the Mets because a pelican flew into the windshield of his rental car. I wonder if he bought the insurance.

Having just returned from Florida a week ago and seen some things up close, those pelicans look like they can do some damage. Pelicans are big, sturdy and have those tremendous beaks. The look mean, too, and if approached they spread their wings and stand on one foot like Daniel-san in The Karate Kid. My guess is if a pelican makes it through the windshield alive, look out - chances are it will peck your eyes out. Those things are like flying wolverines... pretty, elegant, wolverines.

While Shimomura nearly had his eyes gauged out and missed part of the Sox-Mets Grapefruit League game, the Providence Journal's Joe McDonald had his laptop smashed to bits when a foul ball blasted into it. No big deal there, though. Foul balls fly into the press box and sometimes they hit computers. Sometimes those computers break. It happens every day, which is why baseball fans are lucky to even read one sentence about the local nine. It's also why baseball writers are qualified to operate teletype machines at the regional Western Union office.

Also, if you ever need something notarized like a deed, a will or a marriage license, a baseball writer can handle that, too.

Anyway, a busted laptop - You know, no big whoop... we live in a land where laptops are easily replaced. Besides, it's not like Joe was the victim of a pelican attack. Foul balls are hardly an "exclusive" in baseball, but a pelican attack is no laughing matter.

Still, these stories are only getting out there because it's the Red Sox. Really, in Boston they cover the writers nearly as much as they cover the baseball team. They are really into navel gazing up there. After all, here in Philadelphia we have had a beat writer attacked by the Baltimore Oriole mascot [ed. note: it was the writer's "special lady"]. Another guy (maybe the same dude) took a header between innings of a game at RFK when he dashed onto the field in some sort of Thomas Jefferson outfit. That was a crazy thing, yet no one talked about that. It happened and there were all sorts of witnesses, but it didn't make the national Internets.

Nope, no one ever talked about those things.

*** Wisconsin-ite Bon Iver plays tonight in Austin's SXSW fest.

*** There are about six weeks to go until the Pennsylvania Primary and I'm already tired of hearing the so-called pundits referring to the Commonwealth as "Philadelphia on one side, Pittsburgh on the other and the rest is Alabama." Come on... that's just like those tired, old "booing Santa Claus" bits that folks like to trot out for Philadelphia. It's so boring.

Please, from now on try referring to Pennsylvania as "Pennsyltucky." It flows better.

*** Hey! Do pushups. Also: If you are a distance man, don't worry so much about stretching... unless it's a quasi-regular yoga regime.

Brave new world

If you're like me you are a shade under 6-foot-1; about 160 pounds; live in Lancaster with a wife and two kids; like to drink coffee and run a lot; and spend about 13 hours a day on your laptop. I suppose the last one of that long list is an occupational hazard of working in the Internets business. Until they move the Internets to another medium, I'm going to remain handcuffed to this machine I have (literally) on my lap. Still, even if I didn't work on web sites and the like, I'm not sure if it would limit my participation in things World Wide Web-related. Frankly, everything is on the web nowadays and it doesn't look like that fact is going to change any time soon. Look, I take crap all the time about being a web writer as if that's any different than other types of writers. Either no one wants to hear it or no one is listening, but the fact is everyone writes for the web now. Book it... or code it with the proper HTML codes, please.

Anyway, I believe that advancements in technology should make things like newspapers and television better. I also believe that advancements in technology should heighten our level of discourse in these here United States, but I don't think I'm smart enough to know if any of this stuff is true. I do know that newspapers should just stop printing paper versions already. Seriously, just stop... it's cluttering up the Starbucks and waiting rooms across the country. Someone has to pick that stuff up, stack it in a pile and put it in the proper recycling receptacle.

So stop with the paper already.

Another fact to be is that television seems to be headed to the same neighborhood where newspapers live right now. One hand washes the other or something like that. Besides, people like portability, they like to talk about things like WiFi and they like being able to be connected anywhere at any time. That means if I want to watch, oh let's say something like The Wire, a Major League Baseball game or the NCAA Tournament, I don't have to sit on the couch in front of the teevee like Jaba the Hut. Instead I can reach into my backpack, whip out the ol' HP and dial it up even if I'm negotiating myself through cross-town traffic.

Yes, it's a brave new world we're living in, folks.

How brave? So brave that newspapers, radio and TV stations are dabbling in exclusive content just for its web viewers. Actually, it's gotten to the point where media outlets have to put its programming on the web, too, thus broadening the reach beyond it small locality. World Wide Web... get it? Actually, Major League Baseball has (read the next few words as if you were Scotty[1] from Star Trek) embraced the technology to the point where its entire Extra Innings package is available on the web via video and audio.

Yeah, that's old news. MLB seemed to be waaay out in front when it came to the so-called "new media." Actually, they are so out in front on the web and whatnot that the development of its own cable TV network seems kind of quaint these days.

"Oh, how cute. Baseball is going to start its own channel. That's nice... can I get it on my iPhone?"

But check this out: the NCAA and CBS are putting every game of the NCAA Basketball Tournament online.  Yep, that's right... all of ‘em. That means if you're like me and stuck with your nose in a laptop all day, you don't have to sit in front of a television to watch another one of those ubiquitous last-second "look-ins" that personify the coverage of the Tournament. You know, if there isn't an upset or a buzzer-beater it didn't really happen...

Until now.

So just to be different I might search out a first-round game where a No. 4 seed beats a No. 13 seed by 15 points. Let's hope the walk-on sitting at the end of the bench gets in for the last minute.

*** Famous actor/comedian Billy Crystal signed one of those celebrity deals to be a player for the Yankees for a couple of days during spring training. You know, kind of like fantasy camp for the guys with the real cache.

Meanwhile, the Phillies countered with human car wreck/professional golfer, John Daly. Looks like the Yankees win again, though from the correct angle Daly almost looks like Brett Myers from the chin down.

Billy Crystal just looks like Billy Crystal in a Yankees shirt.

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[1] Scotty was a Scotsman... go figure.