The Mitchell Report (pdf) Oh, I'm sorry... you just want the names. Here they are:
New names Chad Allen Mike Bell Gary Bennett Larry Bigbie Kevin Brown Alex Cabrera Mark Carreon Jason Christiansen Howie Clark Roger Clemens Jack Cust Brendan Donnelly Chris Donnels Matt Franco Eric Gagne Matt Herges Phil Hiatt Glenallen Hill Todd Hundley Mike Judd David Justice Chuck Knoblauch Tim Laker Mike Lansing Paul Lo Duca Nook Logan Josias Manzanillo Cody McKay Kent Mercker Bart Miadich Hal Morris Daniel Naulty Denny Neagle Jim Parque Andy Pettitte Adam Piatt Todd Pratt Stephen Randolph Adam Riggs Armando Rios Brian Roberts F.P. Santangelo Mike Stanton Ricky Stone Miguel Tejada Ismael Valdez Mo Vaughn Ron Villone Fernando Vina Rondell White Jeff Williams Todd Williams Steve Woodard Kevin Young Gregg Zaun
Previously mentioned Manny Alexander Rick Ankiel David Bell Marvin Benard Barry Bonds Ricky Bones Paul Byrd Jose Canseco Paxton Crawford Lenny Dykstra Bobby Estalella Ryan Franklin Jason Giambi Jeremy Giambi Jay Gibbons Troy Glaus Juan Gonzalez Jason Grimsley Jose Guillen Jerry Hairston Jr. Darren Holmes Ryan Jorgensen Gary Matthews Jr. Rafael Palmeiro John Rocker Benito Santiago Scott Schoeneweis David Segui Gary Sheffield Randy Velarde Matt Williams
Tune in at 6 p.m. when the MLBPA fires back.
As everyone (or at least baseball fans and media types with no lives) try to play the guessing game over which players and ex-players will be on 
Former Senator George Mitchell will release his long-awaited report on his investigation into baseball's alleged performance-enhancing drugs problem. Senator Mitchell will make an announcement at 2:30 p.m. in press conference from New York City.
At 2:32 p.m. tumbleweed will blow across Mitchell's podium and one lone cricket will chirp. At 2:34 p.m. Major League Baseball will go back to business as usual.
Throughout the team's history, the Phillies have always been attracted to those hitters that always seem to swing and miss a lot. Mike Schmidt was one of those guys. During his career he whiffed 1,883 times, which is the seventh-most in the history of the game.
Schmidt's teammate Greg Luzinski averaged 133 strikeouts per 162 games. That duo of Schmidt and Luzinski led the National League in strikeouts five times.
No one wanted to sign with the Phillies. Not even Tadahito Iguchi, the second baseman who asked for his release and eschewed arbitration, passed up a chance to be the Phillies' everyday third baseman by signing a one-year deal with San Diego, too.
There have been a few comebacks recently. Of course there was Sly Stone a few weeks ago playing a gig in New York, and the rumor is the 
But Joe Strummer and The Clash were concerned. So too were The Ramones and that gang in D.C. with Ian MacKaye and Henry Rollins. Led Zeppelin, by that point, was ubiquitous. It was elevator music and I had heard it crackling through the cheap plastic speakers of the family station wagon way too many times. Led Zeppelin, I rationalized, was what they wanted us to hear.
Phew! It was a rather eventful weekend what with the big fight in Las Vegas and putting up the Christmas decorations and all of that.
But aside from the Bonnie & Clyde kids or "Rittenhouse Swindlers
Finally, Ted Leo and his outfit, Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, 
Guess what? 
So the Phillies went to the Opryland Resort in Nashville for the Winter Meetings and came back empty handed (though I bet one of the guys in the travelling party swiped a towel or two and all of the sample bottles of shampoo and soap… they know who they are), which really isn’t much of a surprise. After all, just a few weeks ago general manager Pat Gillick told the local scribes to stay home to save them from the boredom.
Then he said he wanted to leave Nashville with a pitcher. In between all of that he called Randy Wolf a jerk for choosing his family and sunny California over dreary Philadelphia and its bandbox of a ballpark.
Yes, his job is to win baseball games and it’s something he does very well. Better yet, La Russa seems to have a laser focus on winning games to the point that nothing else matters. It’s all about La Russa and winning ballgames.
In doing some research last night I learned that the television program "
Apparently the Phillies and Tadahito Iguchi met up at the ice cream parlor the other day. It also seems as if those kids had a few things to discuss, too. The Phillies, badly in need of a third baseman (as well as a pitcher or two and a center fielder), could be willing to make a deal with Iguchi for 2008 and beyond. Iguchi, for his part, hit the open market and learned that all the second base slots for the good teams were spoken for. But third base in Philadelphia looks wide open.
The first places most folks look for when they are on the road and far from home and need a little action are the bars and/or the hotel lobby. Everyone knows what goes on in a bar so there isn't much need for explanation there, but the hotel lobby - specifically if it also has a bar - is like Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras, Times Square during rush hour, and Broad Street during a parade.
At least that's the way it is during the baseball winter meetings.
As far as the hipness factor goes, I can only speak reasonably knowledgably about the Philadelphia crew and let's just say 
If 
Yet even though the general managers from all across baseball are making the scene at Opryland, it's not as if their presence boosts the hipness factor. Actually, unless one thinks those Hawaiian/Tommy Bahama-type shirts are "cool," then rollin' with the GMs is the way to go. After all, this is a set of people who take their cues on coolness from Spuds McKenzie.
When you think about it, the current design of the uniforms the Phillies have been sporting since 1992 are getting a little old and stale. Actually, they are catching up in age to those hard maroon unis the team wore all through the 1970s that just seemed to scream, "DISCO!"
The shirts they wear now just whine, "We don't have any other good ideas."
Speaking of new looks for the Phillies, forget about a trade with the Orioles for Melvin Mora. According to general manager Pat Gillick, the Phillies believe Mora is a good player, but they are sure what the team would have to offer back to the O's.
Let's get this straight: The Eagles lost to the Patriots on Sunday night and Philly fans are pleased? Really? Is this true? The Eagles lost and folks are genuinely pleased?
Hold on for a second while I drop to one knee to catch my breath...
Anyway, 
So we finally got back to town last night after travelling around a bit over the weekend, and immediately my wife started in on this site. The kids had finally gone off to bed and some ridiculousness like "Dancing with the Stars" was on the TV as my old lady and I both sat in our chairs with our laptops. I guess it's kind of a modern-day Archie and Edith, minus the laugh track.
Anyway, Marie Osmond was being tossed and launched all over the screen though the absurdness of this was completely lost on me. Perhaps if Gary Coleman was a contestant... Instead, I had my headphones plugged into my ears and I was busy trying to sync together the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line with Radiohead's Kid A. As odd as that sounds, it kind of works - the record (and by record I mean recording) starts with "Everything in its Right Place," which was offset against Leaf Phoenix and Reece Witherspoon singing Dylan's "It Ain't Me, Babe." From there, the actors went up to Johnny Cash's hotel room as the opening track slipped into, "Kid A."
Finally, when Cash was camped out with Waylon Jennings in some Tennessee motel, "How to Disappear Completely," burst on and that's when the experiment ended. My wife, as it often is, had another question.
Check this out: I was selected to be a shoe tester for the shoe company, Brooks. Needless to say I'm pretty excited about it. What I do, I suppose, is wear the shoes I'm sent for my runs, write about it in a report and send the info along to the good folks at Brooks.
When I was a kid I believed nearly everything adults told me. Well, I believed almost everything they told me until I was about 10. After then, I questioned everything because that's about the time I learned about Richard Nixon. I figured if the President of the United States could be less than forthcoming, maybe other adults could, too.
That's also about the same time I learned about Santa Claus, though truth be told the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy never made any sense. That's especially the case with the Tooth Fairy because that just sounds a little too Uncle Eddie-ish to me. Really, what kind of a person or fairy wants little kids' ripped out and bloodied teeth? Do they make necklaces out of them like those sharks' tooth ones people wore in the ‘70s and stuff? Remember Turk Wendell, the Phillies' former relief pitcher? Yeah, well he had a necklace made out of elk's teeth and other wild animals he may or may not have shot. Actually, the necklace was kind of gaudy, but not in a P. Diddy kind of way.
So what's this have to do with anything? Well, it doesn't. I just like writing about it. Plus, it's a nice little segue way into the whole Mike Lowell thing, who, as most readers of this site and other like it (could there be others like this one?) will tell you, is the newly re-signed third baseman and MVP of the World Series for the Boston Red Sox. Lowell is a pretty darned good third baseman who played for the Marlins when they won the World Series in 2003 and I remember sitting at Citizens Bank Park the time he hit three home runs in one game for the Marlins. The last of the three came off Billy Wagner and it made me laugh out loud... not one of those obnoxious laughs like DeNiro chomping on a cigar in the movie theater like in Cape Fear, which by itself is a ridiculous scene. But it was a laugh that slips out at an inappropriate time, like say the time your friend was an altar boy at mass at Sacred Heart in 1984 or something and he knocked over a candle that he had just lit. You don't want to laugh out loud, but you do for that briefest of seconds before anyone realizes that you are the one who a.) Has a bad sense of humor and b.) Can't control himself in solemn places.
OK. I guess that's good advice. But it's kind of like, don't dance with a circus bear wearing a Shriner's hat after it just pedaled a tricycle 50 yards. Or don't rub the belly of an alligator that was just fed ostrich burgers for a mid-afternoon snack. Does it really mean something or is it just a broad, sweeping statement that is common amongst politicians and large retailers to homogenize us?
Just one time I'd like to see a player try on a jersey that doesn't fit during those ceremonial press conferences for newly signed players. Like say for instance the Phillies signed Barry Bonds and trotted him out with the whole jersey thing, but when he tries to slip his arms in it goes nowhere because it's one of Jimmy Rollins' shirts.
That would be funny to me.
Interestingly, third basemen Mike Lowell and Scott Rolen have the same agent. Even more interesting, the Phillies have not inquired about making a deal for either player. But then again, the team says all they are interested in is adding pitching.
Yeah, we've been all over this before.
It's worth noting that Dennis Deitch of the Delaware County Daily Times finally found a seat with a desk. That means regular hours, holidays off and no more travelling around following a baseball team all summer long. That frees him up to do... well, whatever it is he does. Dungeons & Dragons, I guess. Perhaps some Everquest with Curt Schilling, poker at the Borgata and more time spent honing his act as the new crocodile hunter.
