It's Not as Easy as it Looks

Back when Keith Jackson was first drafted by the Eagles, the TV types took off on the fact that the All-Pro tight end out of Oklahoma claimed that he loved classical music and played the cello.

Hey, what’s not to love about that? A big burly blocking end from a college program where they ran the wishbone was also a cellist with an affinity for chamber music.

The story writes itself, write?

Well…

No one wants to say that the TV network folks were duped because Jackson owned a cello. He had a bow and everything. He also had a collection of all the right records to back up the professed love of Bach, Beethoven, Mozart and Wagner.

The problem was that damn cello. When Jackson sat down to play it with the cameras rolling, he could barely screech out the scales. Cats within earshot of a TV ran off into the woods. A few glass mirrors cracked.

It wasn’t good.

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Funny how?

From the everyone needs to take a step back and chill out file we urge folks to avoid roasts and rallies... or not. Let's get this straight: a woman, apparently one who appears on television regularly, makes "off-color" remarks at a roast for some colleagues and she gets suspended? Really? Mind you, it was a roast where points are given for the most outlandish and most rude comments one can make. Rickles used to kill at those old Dean Martin roasts back in the ‘70s and Bea Arthur turns up at the Friars Club just to get torn up.

Apparently, ESPN decided to suspend Dana Jacobson (the TV broadcaster that no one ever heard of until now) for going so far over the top at a roast that she probably could have held her own with the Friars. This is just plain silly - why is it her fault she was with a bunch of amateurs? No, I've never been to a roast. But trust me, I've been practicing. If I ever get the chance I'm going to make the paint bubble off the walls. I'm going to make Redd Foxx look like Bill Cosby.

If the folks that Jacobson dropped her pearls on wanted someone equally as un-funny, they could have booked Dane Cook.

Truth be told, being on the dais at a roast is the dream - that and delivering the mail. Think about how much fun it must be to walk around all day outside dropping off a bunch of stuff folks are pretty ambivalent about. Is there anything more fun than being outdoors just walking around and looking at stuff?

No, there is not.

Well, having fun is fun, too. However, the folks that invited Ms. Jacobson over to make fun of a couple of colleagues don't really understand the concept of the roast. Or of fun. Or both.