Pedro Martinez anyone?

Jamie Moyer turned in a quality start on Wednesday night, which is no small feat.  After all, heading into that game nearly every other batter reached base against the 46-year old lefty this month. Moreover, that one ugly inning reared its head again for Joe Blanton on Thursday afternoon. Just when it looked as if the big right-hander had turned the proverbial corner, up came a couple of bloop hits and a three-run homer to bite Joe in the rear. Just like that and a five-spot was stuck on the board.

Cole Hamels? Yeah, he looks like he’s back to form. And Brett Myers? Sometimes what you see is what you get.

So it goes that if the Phillies are going to parade down Broad Street for a second straight year, they are going to have to get the pitching together. After all, that’s how they did it last year. Sometimes, though, that’s easier said than done. Every team wants pitching and because the quality stuff is spread so thin, general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. might have to get creative if he wants to bolster up the worst rotation in the Majors.

How creative? We’re not sure. But how is this for an idea…

Pedro Martinez.

Yeah, that’s right… why not take a flyer on Pedro Martinez?

Look, we know all about it. Pedro is 37, he gets hurt a lot and his best days are clearly in the past. Last season for the Mets, Pedro went 5-6 with a 5.61 ERA in 20 starts – clearly the worst season of his big league career and the third season in a row where he missed a significant portion of the season because of injuries.

After going 15-8 with a 2.82 ERA in 2005, Martinez went 17-15 with a 4.74 ERA in 48 starts in three combined seasons. When his contract ended after the Mets choked away another September, they just let him walk away – and so did everyone else for that matter.

But really, Pedro’s worst season ever is still significantly better than what Moyer, Blanton and Chan Ho Park have done this year and general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. gave the 46-year-old lefty a two-year deal. It would take significantly less – like a prorated deal for the rest of the season – to bring Martinez on board.

Better yet, if he doesn’t pitch well the Phillies can always say, “Adios.” No harm, no foul.

That might not be the Phillies style though. Apparently going after someone like Martinez might be thinking waaaaaaaay out of the box. Or was it? Last spring the Phillies took a chance on veteran Kris Benson and when it was clear he couldn’t pitch, they cut him loose. Since then Benson signed on with Texas where he has appeared in four games and has a 7.80 ERA…

That’s the same ballpark as Moyer and Blanton.

Plus, when ex-GM Pat Gillick knew he wouldn’t be able to sign Randy Wolf, he panicked and gave a three-year deal to Adam Eaton.

Remember how well that turned out? Yeah, well it still wasn’t as bad as Moyer, Blanton and Park have been this season.

Yes, the plan is for the Phillies’ staff to pitch better and based on past performance that’s not out of the realm of possibility. Still, what if those guys don’t turn it around? What then? It just seems silly not to take a shot on someone like Pedro Martinez when bigger projects like Eaton, Park and Benson were signed up with seemingly not a second thought.

Vote for Pedro? Shoot, how bad could it be?

*

Note: We’re going to be away from the ballpark for a couple of days while my wife recovers from an appendectomy and pneumonia. As soon as the ol’ girl gets her mojo back, we’ll be back at the ballpark.

Until then… hospital food!

Adam Eaton graphic from The Baltimore Sun

Trading deadline come and gone...

... and I'm tired. Here's the last offering from Washington on the Phillies' (non) moves. I'm done and will get back to my normal dose of stylings as soon as possible. Carry on.

Oh yeah... at low Class-A Lakewood, Adam Eaton had a rough night in his first minor-league start. Against the West Virginia Power, Eaton was tattooed for five hits and four earned runs in 3 1/3 innings. Afterwards, the exiled Phillie told the Asbury Park Press that he felt good.

"I felt good. The ball was coming out pretty nice. I was very happy with the way I threw," said Eaton, apparently not fazed by being tagged for five hits, including three doubles and a home run by the Milwaukee Brewers affiliate.

Ouch.

Meanwhile, at high Class-A Clearwater, starter Joe Savery was also roughed up a bit. In just one inning of work, the 2007 first-round draft pick gave up eight runs on eight hits and four walks to fall to 5-9 as his ERA climbed to 4.46.

Double ouch.

Also down on the pharm (like that "ph"? Clever, huh?), Kris Benson turned in a solid outing for Triple-A Lehigh Valley on Wednesday night. Benson gave up five hits and one run over seven innings in a 2-1 loss to Norfolk. It was the second straight start in which Benson pitched seven innings.

Phillies assistant general manager Mike Arbuckle said Benson isn't quite ready to join the big-league team yet, but could find himself at Citizens Bank Park by the end of the season.

Sounds like a broken record

Needless to say, there will be a lot of attention given to Kris Benson's outing for the Triple-A Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs on Sunday afternoon. Though it's unlikely that the outcome of the start will be much more than a warm up for Benson's long rehabilitation, count on a bunch of the Phillies' brass taking meticulous notes on every pitch. As it turns out, it seems as if the team is looking for a starter.

At least that sounds like the case based on the quotes coming from Arlington, Texas after Opening Day starter Brett Myers tossed up another clunker on Friday night. Actually, the latest stinker might be the one that officially put the portly righty on notice. In just two innings Myers threw 66 pitches, gave up five hits, five runs, four walks and blew a four-run lead.

But wait, it gets worse...

In Myers' last 12 starts the Phillies are 1-11, including losses in the last five straight. With a 3-9 record and 5.84 ERA, Myers has allowed fewer than four runs in just seven starts. He's allowed less than three runs in just three starts, which isn't bad when one considers that Myers is averaging just a little more than five innings per start.

Yet it was the two-inning clunker - one in which he walked three straight despite working with a four-run lead in the third inning - that finally made manager Charlie Manuel post an opening for Myers' spot in the rotation.

"Can I say his job is secure?" Manuel told the scribes in Texas. "I don't know what to say, if you want to know the truth. We'd have to find somebody to do his job first, I guess."

In other words, if the Phillies had someone better Myers wouldn't be going out there anymore. Really, how tough is it for a guy when he knows that the only reason the team continues to give him the ball is because they don't have anyone else?

Myers must know what time it is based on how he reportedly busted it out of the ballpark without talking to the writers after the game. Typically a stand-up and an accountable guy when it comes to talking to the press about his job, Myers must figure that he doesn't have anything new to say.

What else can he say?

What else can he do?

And what happens to Myers if the Phillies find someone better?

Here is the most telling quote from the manager as it appeared in The Inquirer:

"We're trying to get him right," Manuel said. "Myers' best year is 14-9 as a starter [in 2003]. You stop and think about it, that's not lighting it up. I mean, look, that's not what you call a huge season. He's had some bumps. He's had moments on the mound where he's had some struggles.

"Our expectation of Myers was always an 18-, 20-game winner. I said before the season started that in order for us to win, we needed 16 to 20 wins out of [Cole Hamels and Myers]. That's kind of how we always evaluated him. His talent has always been there. Right now, things aren't going too well for him. He's having trouble."

As a starter Myers had been very consistent in being inconsistent. In his four full seasons as a starter, Myers topped 200 innings once and never won more than 14 games.

Maybe he's proving that he really belongs back in the bullpen.

*** If you missed the women's 10,000 meters in the Olympic Trials last night, I bet you're kicking yourself now. Described as a race that was at least four competitions in one, the Olympic qualifier had a virtuoso performance from Shalane Flanagan, a solid effort from Kara Goucher and drama galore when Amy Begley edged Katie McGregor for the last spot on the team.

But just barely.

Flanagan, the American record holder in the event, and Goucher ran away from the pack to finish in the first two spots, while Begley and McGregor dueled it out for the last spot for a trip to Beijing.

Only Begley and McGregor weren't racing against each other - well, kind of, but not exactly. You see, to run in the Olympics an athlete needs to meet a qualifying standard of 31:45 for the 10K. If the top three runners don't have the required time by the end of the trials race, the next best finisher with the standard makes the team.

So with Flanagan, Goucher and McGregor three of the four runners in the race with the qualifying standard met in a previous race, Begley spent most of the race one place ahead of McGregor watching the clock and running for her life. After the race she said she spent the last two laps doing math and running as fast as should could while holding out hope that she could squeeze in ahead of McGregor and under 31:45.

With a crazy sprint to the finish line and a last lap of 67.3, Begley made it under the standard by 1.4 seconds.

Then she collapsed on the track.

McGregor, conversely, finished in the worst spot possible for a trials race by coming in fourth. Worse, it was the second straight Olympic Trials in which she finished fourth in the 10,000 meters.

Back to The District

WASHINGTON - We'll dive into the new, somewhat flavorless (knee-jerk reaction) Nationals Park shortly, but in the meantime, we're not at RFK anymore. Nope, not at all.

Stay tuned.

In the meantime, here's the camera-phone view from my seat in the press box:

Meanwhile, as far as Phillies news goes, pitching coach Rich Dubee said starting pitcher Kyle Kendrick would be in the bullpen for tonight's game against the Nationals. However, Kendrick would pitch in relief only "if it's an emergency."

The reason Kendrick will take in the game from the bullpen is because he tossed just 12 pitches in his rain-shortened outing against the Blue Jays at the Bank yesterday. So rather than have Kendrick throw just 12 pitches in 10 days, the Phillies are going to make use of the right-hander as best as they can.

"In all likelihood, he'll pitch Thursday," Dubee said.

Thursday's outing would be one day ahead Kendrick's normal turn, which means the Phillies should have some well-rested starting pitchers heading into the road series with the Nats and Astros.

Perhaps that means the Phillies are in no hurry to get a pitcher like Kris Benson healthy and ready in the near future. Benson, a free-agent that went to spring training with the Phillies, is working his way back from an arm injury that caused him to miss all of last season. During his spring work with the Phillies, Benson had some shoulder tendonitis and a groin strain.

"He's going to have to show some improvement if he's going to pitch in the big leagues," assistant general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. said. "He has to pitch like a big leaguer. Just because he's down there throwing doesn't mean we're going to bring him up."

Benson can opt out of his deal with the Phillies on June 1 if he is not pitching in the Majors.

Rest up

There's a whole bunch of stories that piqued our interest today regarding the Phillies and intriguing topics. On the Phillies it seems as if Kris Benson is a little dinged up, though that doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. Actually, it just sounds like Benson needs what we marathoners call an "easy day." After weeks of piling hard days on top of each other, it sounds like Benson's right arm told his brain that it was shutting it down for a few days.

"I've been going a month straight now, throwing every single day, and it's held up pretty good," Benson said. "I've gotten pretty far along in this process. I think to expect me to go from the first day of camp to the last day of the season without taking a break here and there because it's going to fatigue out is ... not going to happen."

So Benson needs to go easy, which is how the body builds its self up. Most folks believe that the hard workouts are what makes an athlete strong, but that's not even the half of it. Muscle regenerates and grows during recovery and rest - it suffers micro-tears and gets beat to bits during work. That's part of the reason why human growth hormone is so popular - not only does it help create lean muscle mass, but also it allows an athlete to skip some of the recovery process.

Sleep, of course, is an important part of the process, too. In fact, celebrity doctor Mehmet C. Oz writes in the April, 2008 edition of Esquire that people need sleep more than they need food. That makes sense when one considers that it is during deep sleep that the body naturally produces HGH.

Writes Oz:

If you get less than six hours of sleep a night, you're in trouble. You need sleep more than you need food. When you're always tired, you actually age faster than you should.

In other words, work hard and then rest up because that's what it takes.

"If I could take a break now and take advantage of it and use this to build myself up for the 60-pitch area, to bump up to the next area, then I think in the long run it will be a good thing," Benson said.

Of course who could blame Benson for pushing it a little harder than he should have over the past few weeks? With the backend of the Phillies' rotation struggling and looking for some help, Benson probably saw a spot or two ripe for the proverbial picking. There are jobs to be had on a potential playoff club at stake and Benson rightfully reasoned that one of those spots could be his.

It still could, but it seems as if some extended spring work in Clearwater, followed by a minor-league rehab stint will be needed in the meantime.

*** Working-class hero Chris Coste's memoir, The 33-Year Old Rookie hit stores today. With a copy en route from the good folks at Ballantine Books, we will be sure to have a full review here ASAP.

*** Allen Iverson returns to Philadelphia for the first time with the Denver Nuggets tomor...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh, sorry about dozing off in the middle of a sentence like that. It's just that in Philadelphia, it's a tired old story that another all-time great is returning to town with another team. There are many issues with this trend, namely, why do all the really good players want to leave town?

How much time do we have?

Nevertheless, it will be a more exciting story when the all-time greats play their entire careers for a Philadelphia.

*** Sports and politics are always a bad mix, just like it was a bad idea for the Carter Adminstration to boycott the 1980 Olympic Games in Moscow. But if there were ever an Olympics to be boycotted, this summer's games in Beijing are ripe.

Excluding the issues regarding China's horrendous human-rights record, environmental and pollution atrocities as well as the most recent killings in yet another crackdown against basic freedoms in Tibet make one wonder why the International Olympic Committee would ever consider having its games in China in the first place.

Plus, athletes aren't even allowed to sign autographs for their fans as evidenced by the Chan Ho Park incident in Beijing last week.

Perhaps the best measure of protest against the Chinese is the French Olympic committee's move to boycott the opening ceremonies in August. Even better is the subtle - but powerful - protest by Haile Gebrselassie to skip the Olympic marathon. This is quite meaningful because Gebrselassie shattered the world record in the marathon last October. Plus, Geb is the most decorated distance runner in history with stirring Olympic victories in the 10,000 meters in 1996 and 2000 in what are regarded as the most dramatic runs in the event's history.

So when Geb says pollution in Beijing is a concern enough to skip the Olympics, the issues are worth investigating...

Like why would the IOC award Beijing with something like the Olympics in the first place?

*** The autopsy for top American marathoner Ryan Shay was finally released today - 4 ½ months after his death in the Olympic Trials in New York City. It appears as if Shay's heart was too big - no drugs, no foul play. But everyone who knew Shay never suspected any of that in the first place.

*** Tomorrow: Lenny Dykstra and the NCAA Tournament

Six is better than five

Meanwhile, Johan Santana pitched well against the Red Sox yesterday. His line: 4 IP, 4 K's, 2 hits, no runs. For sure, the sports world is ready to explode with action in the next few weeks. Actually, the world sports scene will be packed with HUGE events until the end of the Olympics in Beijing where athletes will battle pollution worse than Philadelphia, New York and Los Angeles combined.

Call them "The Iron Lung Games."

Nevertheless, the faux dramatics of the NCAA College Basketball Selection Show kicks it all off next Sunday. They stretch that tournament out for most of March so they can weed out all of those low-seeded teams that pulled off those early-round upsets. I guess that's the proper way to do things because the better teams usually win, though it seems as if interest wanes after all the upsets stop and the TV network stops that rapid-fire coverage of showing 19 games ending all at once.

The truth is the NCAA Tournament lasts too long. What is it, six games to win it all? Shoot, they could do the entire thing in a weekend like a CYO Tournament where school kids played two or three games a day to get a trophy for the school's trophy case.

Isn't that what they play for in the NCAA Tournament?

They play The Masters, the biggest golf tournament in the world, in just four days the weekend following the NCAA Tournament. Sure, basketball is a little more athletic than golf, but everything is relative. If a person's mind and body are programmed to play 18 holes of golf for four straight days, it's kind of like running 18 miles... or something. Actually, let me explain it this way: I once played 18 holes at Pine Valley and didn't even have to carry my own bag, but my feet were as sore after any of the 13 marathons I've run. Yeah, that even includes the '98 Boston Marathon where my feet got all swole to the point that I couldn't wear shoes for three days.

Oh, but the NCAA Tournament and The Masters are just the least of it in a busy-as-a-bee next 30 days. Major League Baseball kicks off its season in less than three weeks, the NHL and NBA playoffs start soon (I think), the NFL Draft is approaching and then the London and Boston Marathons, including the U.S. Olympic Trials for the women's marathon, cap it all off.

That's a lot of stuff packed into a month and it could be even more if the Flyers and 76ers make it to the playoffs. Forget about the Pennsylvania Primary on April 22 that could decide on who(m) could lead our union for the next four years and the really important stuff like taxes and that stuff - there's sports to follow. Besides, according to the ESPN.com story, sports people don't really care that Hillary Clinton will be criss-crossing our Commonwealth for the next few weeks putting to practice the theories that a.) she will say and do anything to get elected, and/or b.) she will claim many cities in Pennsylvania to be "home," further exemplifying theory A.

On the other side, Barry Obama seems pretty cool.

But frankly, even with the primary, the draft, Opening Day, the NFL and NFL playoffs, The Masters, the overhyped NCAA Tournament, Easter, Passover and St. Patrick's Day and the accompanying parade of songs by The Pogues ready to blast off, the issue that has everyone worked into a lather is the status of the Phillies' fifth starter.

You know, the guy who likely won't appear in his first game until the second week of the season.

Frankly, give me The Pogues... or even something derivative like The Dropkick Murphy's[1]. Let someone else wax on about the fifth starter.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKyLgRzOTsY]

OK. The fifth starter... forget about it. No matter what anyone says, handicaps or conventional wisdom. Adam Eaton, and all that's left of his $24.5 million salary, will continue to be the No. 5 starter until he no longer can be the No. 5 starter. No, that's not some sort of cryptic hocus-pocus. It means that as long as there is nothing physically wrong with Eaton's back, shoulder, mental or cardiovascular games, the Phillies will keep trotting him out there. They did the same thing last year even though Eaton went 10-10 with a 6.29 ERA (glass half full: he was 7-3 on the road and shoved it up the Mets' collective rears at Shea).

So unless Eaton's arm or back falls off or he's clubbed so badly that he's reduced to sitting Indian-style on the mound with one shoe on and the other in his non-glove hand and beating himself on top of his head with the cleated end and the new-look, throwback jersey defaced with Sharpie scrawl with the word "dog" between "Eaton" and "21," count on the veteran right-hander to keep taking the ball once every five days.

Or who knows... maybe Eaton will split starts with Kris Benson if he is recovered and ready to go come late April or early May. Perhaps the Phillies will go to a six-man rotation like the Red Sox did last September in preparation for the playoffs. Hey, with this Phillies club something like that could work.

Why not? Brett Myers is returning to the rotation after a year in the ‘pen followed by a career of inconsistent starting pitching; Cole Hamels has never pitched more than 183 innings in any season and has suffered an injury in every season going back to his high school days; Kyle Kendrick has turned in uglier numbers than Eaton this spring and probably would have started the 2008 season at Triple-A if he hadn't been pressed into service last year; and then there is steady, 45-year-old Jamie Moyer who has seemingly turned in 200-plus innings every year going back to the Reagan Administration.

A six-man rotation? Sure, why not. Or maybe a modified six-man rotation with certain pitchers jumping up a day based on matchups or the importance of a particular game.

In other words, forget about the fifth guy... who will take the No. 6 spot?

---

[1] Apparently, The Dropkick Murphys and Ted Leo are playing in Dorchester at the IBEW Local 103 this Friday night. Talk about Irish... that's more Irish than a Friday night with a bottle of Jameson and my Mick uncles and their bloodshot eyes. Everyone is welcome as long as they bring their own tin whistle, four-string and ride home.

Fiendishly clever

First of all, a Major League Baseball player - a union one at that - can't get traded to Japan. Come on... suggesting something like that and then getting everyone involved the way the Phillies did in attempt to pull a prank on Kyle Kendrick in Clearwater yesterday, is just mean. Really, who doesn't know a player can't be traded to a team in Japan? So ultimately, as documented everywhere, the Phillies and the press took delight in the shortcomings of another person. It was a poor unsuspecting rube who wasn't aware enough to know that he can't get traded to a team in Japan. Nor did he know that as a member of a union, he and his agent probably had some say in a trade to another league, let alone a league in another country... if it were allowable. Which it's not. But you know what they did? They laughed at him, and wrote about it and put it on TV.

Really nice.

Whatever happened to lighting someone's shoes on fire or the ol' football to the groin? Perhaps the Kendrick prank demonstrates the reason why reality shows and things in which people are voted off or forced to be humiliated by D-list "celebrities" in front of a large audiences are so popular - it's because we're a bunch of mean people who enjoy watching others "get what they deserve."

Harumph!

Look, baseball players are on edge about getting traded or waived this time of year anyway. Then there are injuries and the like that makes a ballplayer's job hang by such a tenuous thread. It's like walking around newspaper guys talking about buyouts and layoffs even though the company is still producing double-digit profit margins. Why mess with a guy's head like that?

Anyway, the point is: don't make fun of people who aren't... well, smart. It isn't nice. It's just like awful thing Jay Leno [1]used to do where hit the streets to ask regular citizens basic knowledge questions only to yuck it up when he could prove that someone didn't know the significance of July 4. That's not funny, it's sad.

Still, traded to Japan? And they got him to believe it? Nice.

Never mind Remember when I wrote that signing Kris Benson was a bad idea, especially when the Phillies could get a player who could jump in now and help the team? Remember? I think it was a few days ago or something... hell, maybe I didn't even write it all. Maybe I just thought it and assumed I wrote it.

You know, because sports writing is so vital to the national discourse...

Anyway, because the Phillies are paying Benson a minimal base salary with incentives that could reach $5 million if he tallies up 200 innings and 30 starts, it's a pretty good deal.

It's a bargain, actually... like shopping at T.J. Maxx or knowing a guy who knows a guy who can get some stuff from time to time.

So the Phillies picked up a deal for a low price. Good. Now if he can last the year it's even better.

Oh yeah... Benson is married, too. Everyone is writing about how his wife is going to turn up in Clearwater or something. But since we have never written about ballplayer wives before, there's no reason to start up now.

If she can pitch or has another noteworthy talent, then that makes it a different story.

---

[1] I can't believe I'm admitting to have knowledge of Jay Leno's awful show. Truthfully, I've had dental work that got more chuckles than the best episode of Jay Leno's show. Then again, my dentist is funny... gotta give him credit there.

Other people's money

It is always easy to overspend when the money isn't yours. That's especially the case with sports franchises, which all would be out of business or in bankruptcy court if the majority of fans and media were put in charge. "Just spend the money... stop being cheap!" folks always implore the local teams.

Yeah, and that's exactly how things are run at your house. Right?

So this is a short, little missive for the Phillies imploring them not to spend the money on oft-injured pitcher Kris Benson, be it for a minor-league deal or one of those look-and-see-and-then-go-away pacts that dot pro sports like the accessories they are.

You get your money for nothing and your chicks for free...

No, the Phillies should not watch Benson workout anymore. They should burn the jet fuel thus turning their carbon footprint to Sasquatch proportions travelling around to Georgia or Arizona or Timbuktu to watch him throw breaking pitches or see him attempt to hit 90 mph on the JUGS gun.

Oh sure, Benson is one of those high-reward, low-risk type of pitchers that like the confetti of currency also dots the sporting landscape, but big deal. These days Benson is a dime a dozen. IF he can pitch he's nothing more than a well-known name because a long time ago he was a top draft pick and his wife flashed and cursed her way into the sub-culture consciousness.

Besides, Benson seems to have spent more time on the disabled list than in active duty, having missed the entire 2001 and 2007 seasons for surgeries. That makes him a pretty good bet to get hurt again, which seems like a waste of time considering his lifetime ERA is only slightly better than the league average and steadily rising.

So no, the Phillies should put the checkbook away and move past Kris Benson...

Instead, if the Phillies really need to add another pitcher (and they do), they should overpay right-hander Kyle Lohse.

Unlike Benson, Lohse is a known entity. They know he can pitch - maybe not as well as they'd like, but he's a pretty sure bet to take the ball every five days and/or as a reliever for a handful of days in a row.

Perhaps the question is this: Which pitcher is a better value? Is it Benson who may or may not be able to make the team , but won't cost all that much in length of the deal or the salary? Or is it Lohse, who has not yet turned 30, has seven straight big league seasons under his belt and will hold down a spot on the pitching staff for the length of his contract?

The caveat in that is that it might cost the Phillies three years and a few dozen million dollars.

But then again, sometimes you get what you pay for.

I've got nothing...

Happy belated Super Fat Tuesday, folks! Here's hoping everything turned out just the way you wanted ... The Super Bowl is over, the start of spring training is just one week away and there really isn't much else to talk about. Well, there's the weather... it's early February and it's 60 degrees, but the word on the street is that it will be just 10 degrees come Sunday night.

That Mother Nature... she's just so fickle.

Capriciousness aside, there really isn't much to say. The Flyers are in first place, which is cool. However, it seems a little too early in the season for the Stanley Cup chatter to heat up. The Sixers are... well, let's just hope they get the right portion of ping-pong balls.

Since I don't have anything new to write about (pertaining to Philadelphia and its sports teams), I'll just do a little hit-and-run on a few items.

• So trainer Brian McNamee reportedly has physical evidence that Roger Clemens used performance enhancing drugs. What, is this the blue dress of the sporting scene? Did McNamee really save the residue from giving the Rocket a shot in the derriere? Wow.
• Though I'm no football expert, I suspect the Giants' victory in the Super Bowl indicts the Eagles' inability to win the big game in some way. I just don't know what that is.
• How come the Giants can win the Super Bowl and the Eagles can't?
• After Bill Belichick abandoned his team and left his defense on the field so he could go into the locker room and sulk after the loss in the Super Bowl, it's fair to say, "Thank God Bill Belichick is a football coach." After all, the delicate genius that is Bill Belichick could be using all his wisdom and grace to be doing unimportant things like solving poverty, designing programs for world peace or delve into cancer research. But instead - and lucky for us - he's a football coach. We should all knee down and soak in the aura that such men emit.

As Tom Cruise said to Craig T. Nelson in the epic Western Pennsylvania football film, All the Right Moves, "You are just a football coach!" Then he ran away. Fast.

• Aside from not having updated spy films, perhaps the Patriots lost to the Giants because it was the first time they played a good team twice. All of the other teams the Pats played twice were in the AFC East, who combined for a 12-36 record.
• Is Kris Benson a low-risk, high-reward possibility or is he simply a potential annoyance for the Phillies? Oh, it's not Benson who is annoying. By all accounts he's nothing more than a typical baseball player, which means he's just like everyone else only more entitled. The "problem" with Benson is the baggage he brings - that stuff is all fine and dandy when it happens somewhere else like Pittsburgh, New York or Baltimore. We have enough to deal with as it is already.
• I really enjoy eating with chop sticks.
• Now that Sen. Arlen Specter has decided to take on the Patriots' alleged spying in his role as de facto commissioner of the NFL, it's quite interesting how there is quite a bit of bad press. Suddenly, sports media types are indignant and calling upon Congressional leaders to "focus on more important issues." Well, yeah, Congressional involvement is sports seems more than a bit silly. It's silly that leagues have antitrust exemption just as it's ridiculous that government funded agencies can suspend athletes without proper due process.
  But perhaps the biggest reason why sports media/fans don't want Congress involved in the Patriots' alleged spying or steroid use in baseball is because they don't want to know the truth. No, Congress is hardly the beacon of trust or the arbiter of truth and justice, but the fact is they are smart enough to take on cases and issues they know they can't lose. Congress likes sure things and because it looks like they have one with baseball and maybe even the Patriots, maybe some folks are worried that the curtain will be pulled back for everyone to take a good look.