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Hey, everybody!

Yesterday I saw a bunch of the Braves folks circled around the TV watching the pregame stuff on FOX but wasn't sure what was going on. Later, I was tipped off that Braves' reliever Will Ohman read the lineup as Will Ferrell doing Harry Caray. Take a look:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMwhzdEkVN8&hl=en&fs=1]

Guess what? Ohman wasn't so bad. Not as good as Deitch or Zolecki, but not bad nonetheless.

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Paying attention is hard - Part III

Scott RolenInterestingly, third basemen Mike Lowell and Scott Rolen have the same agent. Even more interesting, the Phillies have not inquired about making a deal for either player. But then again, the team says all they are interested in is adding pitching. Yeah, we've been all over this before.

But it's free agency period and everyone is into the Hot Stove stuff which means memories are short or ears are clogged or both. People will pay attention to what they want and they will only hear enough to keep the rumor-mongers in business. That's what it is now - rumors and innuendo. Forget about facts and news. That's boring.

It's boring like the news from the St. Louis papers regarding Rolen, who reportedly is seeking a trade away from the Cardinals because of a damaged relationship with manager Tony La Russa. This is old news. In fact, it was well known last summer that Rolen did not want to return to the Cardinals in 2008 if La Russa was going to remain the team's manager. But with La Russa signed on for a couple more years, it has come to light that Rolen is seeking a trade.

Again, no surprise there.

Here's the thing though - because Rolen apparently wants to be traded away from the Cardinals and because it's assumed the Phillies are after a third baseman because it's also assumed that they need one (even though the Phillies say obtaining a third baseman is "not a priority"), immediately the Rolen-to-Phillies stories creep up.

What are we missing here?

Oh yeah, how about the facts. Like the fact that Rolen has a no-trade clause with an unwritten line that states, "I'll waive it for anywhere but Baghdad or Philadelphia." Or the fact that Rolen still has three years remaining on his contract and is owed $36 million coupled with the report that the Cards will not help pay the freight. What about the fact that Rolen missed most of 2005 and 2007 seasons because of injuries that may or may not have taken away some of his offensive punch.

Do the facts matter or do they just get in the way of a good story?

Answers: No and yes.

Either way, let us reinterate the main point again - Rolen has a no-trade clause. It means he can't be traded anywhere unless he waives it and this is often done for a hefty fee. Knowing what we know about Rolen's first 6½ seasons in Philadelphia and the way he was received in all of his visits since 2002, what sane person would think he'd want to return to play for the Phillies, let alone fly over the city in the Enola Gay?

And don't give me a silly answer like, "money" because Rolen already accepted a smaller paycheck to play for St. Louis.

Look, certainly Rolen is not the first player Tony La Russa rubbed the wrong way. Needless to say, La Russa isn't the first manager Rolen has had trouble with. Actually, it seems as if the only manager Rolen did well with was Terry Francona. Let's be hypocrites and play the rumor game, only we'll be a little more original and make up one of our own...

Ready?

OK, Lowell signs with the Cardinals and Rolen gets traded to the Red Sox... how does that work?

Hey, it's the best I could come up with on short notice.

But, you know, paying attention is hard. That's especially true when the real story gets in the way of the more entertaining story.

Speaking of which, Mike Lowell ain't coming to Philadelphia either... then again, what does his agent or Phils' GM Pat Gillick know?

So long, sailor... DeitchIt's worth noting that Dennis Deitch of the Delaware County Daily Times finally found a seat with a desk. That means regular hours, holidays off and no more travelling around following a baseball team all summer long. That frees him up to do... well, whatever it is he does. Dungeons & Dragons, I guess. Perhaps some Everquest with Curt Schilling, poker at the Borgata and more time spent honing his act as the new crocodile hunter.

To that end we wish Dennis well, note our envy and hope he learns how to duck and move a little more quickly. For us that remain the departure means no more ridiculously riotous comments made with pitch-perfect timing[1]. For us, that sucks.

But kudos, Dennis. Kudos.

If you're scoring at home, the scribes now have subtracted Marcus Hayes and Deitch from the ranks... I say the beat guys get to vote the next guy off the island. Does it work that way?


[1] Timing, of course, is relative. Perhaps Dennis' timing is perfect because it's so inappropriate? That's probably the case.

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The Dude abides

The DudeSince it’s the opening playoff game in Colorado, the players are being (re)introduced before the game. Jimmy Rollins started a nice little trend by going all the way to the very end of the line and shaking the hand of all of his teammates. Charlie Manuel just ambled out to home plate. Anyway, it’s a very beautiful night here at Coors. The temperature and the conditions couldn’t be better. Nevertheless, I suggest they play fast so, a.) We can get out of here earlier because it’s already been a long day and I’m sure you folks can’t wait to read our stories, and b.) It’s going to get cold and windy.

If there is a Game 4, it most likely will played in quite cold conditions. Like maybe the mid-30s. But enough weather talk from me… that’s Dennis Deitch’s bag. All I know is that the weather is beautiful and the press box is nice and low and I have a great vantage point askew of home plate.

Meanwhile, the news from here is that Charlie Manuel revealed that the Phillies had contacted him regarding his future plans. As has been well publicized, Manuel’s contract runs out at the end of the season and there appears to be interest in bringing him back. General manager Pat Gillick wasn't around to comment, though he is here in Denver.

Anyway, most of the wiling away time before the game was spent discussing the comedic genius of Norm McDonald and the greatest film ever produced…

The Big Lebowski.

These are important matters.

Also, it should be noted that there were no members of the Philadelphia press corps interested in trying the “Rocky Mountain Oysters” they sell at a few concession stands.

Can’t blame them.

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